I CARE (VERY MUCH) FOR...

...emotionally unavailable men...which is not very good at all...which makes me wonder why I always end up falling for the Misters Uber-Standoffish, Uber-what-may-be-my-like-for-you-is-thinly-veiled-behind-my-uber-jokiness-which-may-simply-be-just-my-great-sense-of-humor-without-any-like-for-you-so-since-I'm-clearly-a-wuss-who-hides-behind-jokes-I'll-keep-you-in-suspense-until-that-one-day-you-throw-up-your-arms-in-frustration-and-storm-out-of-my-life-forever, and Uber-(Mc)-Jerky.
Men: free yourself from emotional constipation (I promise that it's actually empowering to be at the mercy of your emotions...or something). Or else, I propose that you guys start wearing the above-pictured t-shirt so that I know what I'm getting into right from the start and have the option of not getting into it at all...although, knowing me, I'd probably find the dude in that t-shirt uber-hot...(insert dorky laughter here)...I said "propose"...(insert more dorky laughter here).