Thursday, February 12, 2009

Seriously? SERIOUSLY??!

So, we're less than two days away from the shebang and get this: I have a chronic sty on the lower lid of my right eye and what appears to be half a button candy-sized subconjunctival hemmorhage north and slightly east of my left iris. The sty is barely noticeable but has been squatting on my eyelid for quite some time now. Obviously, it's cancer but the opthamologist I visited on Friday said it was nothing more than a sty that wasn't being treated and, as a result, was not going away. Well, I've been treating it opthamologist-lady and guess what? IT'S STILL RIGHT HERE ON THE LOWER LID OF MY RIGHT EYE.

I didn't notice the subconjunctival hemmorhage until an hour ago, as I was removing my contact lenses and getting ready for bed. The websites I've frantically consulted (as well as MP, to whom I cried cautiously, half expecting my tears to be laced with blood) since are assuring me that it's nothing but a rupture of blood vessels under the conjunctiva caused, apparently, by strenuous exercising, coughing, vomiting, touching/widening eyes, sneezing, pulling extreme g-forces, choking, straining. I strenuously exercised this morning (long live boxing), which I suppose could have caused the rupture. It's a small enough hemmorhage for me to have missed during the day. I also did sneeze violently a couple of times today; the last time I sneezed violently was 2.5 hours ago as I re-watched The Westminster Dog Show that I'd DVR'd (yes, I hate the idea of breeding dogs and cats when there are millions in shelters but, no, I can't deny that those dogs in the show are precious). That could've been it, right? I also widen my eyes a hell of a lot when I'm talking and there was a lot of that happening earlier tonight over dinner with girl friends.I have to learn to stop that. I haven't vomited, choked, or experienced extreme g-forces lately, so I'm ruling those causes out.

But what if this hemmorhage is a sign of something much worse like cancer? And what if it is somehow connected to the chronic sty on the other eye? Well, I'm going to attempt to get an answer some time tomorrow.

There's just one thing I know: I WILL wear sunglasses to our Friday night engagement party if these eye issues persist.

Thirty is a little over a month away and I'm already crumbling to age, dear readers. Oh dear.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I have nothing but a no good, long-ass list of excuses for why I haven't blogged in a very, very, very long time. So, instead of detailing why I haven't blogged in a painfully long time, I'm going to jump right into blogging. How about that?

My engagement party is this Friday. Yes, it's Friday the 13th, but as amma said, "Our people don't believe in any of that garbage." It's going to be a big to-do. Not only will I be decked out in the traditional shalwaar kameez but the folks have already told me that they're expecting: 1) MP to re-propose to me in front of everyone (no, seriously) and 2) a Bollywood-like number (no, seriously).

But before we discuss the pomp and cinema of my engagement party, can we talk about that lame-ass Wikipedia entry for shalwaar kameez that I've linked to in the previous sentence? What the fuck, Wikipedia (or the common folks, like you and I, who uploaded this shit on the site)??! Is this the best picture you could find to show the world what a freakin' shalwaar is?

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

Sure, this picture of a Muslim Sindhi girl circa 1870 is pretty cool:

But is this really the best example of a "modern style shalwaar kameez" you could find?

A white woman wearing an anything but fashionable lime green kurta suit? Hells to the no. Sure, she was probably the only one who cared enough to upload a damn photo into this entry but that doesn't matter. If I hadn't brought any of this up, all of you non-South Asians would have followed my link above and thought that the shalwaar kameez is an ugly-ass traditional outfit, when it's anything but. So, for the sake of shalwaar kameez, I was considering uploading photos of some lovely outfits from this site but turns out I have to create an account before I can upload any images to Wikipedia and, really, who has time for that? Not I. So, I guess I'll just deal.