Monday, July 28, 2008

BRUNCH AND CONVERSATION

Nerddd: It was great meeting your cousins!

MP: They're wonderful, aren't they? I like them a lot.

Nerddd: Lovely! They're lovely and funny and fun!

(brief pause during which our Nerddd and her MP walk, hand in hand)

Nerddd: Do you think they liked me?
MP: I'm sure they did. Why wouldn't they like you. What's there not to like...?

Nerddd smiles.

MP: ...except-maybe-all-that-raving-about-mma.

Our Nerddd stops walking.

Nerddd: Wait. Seriously? OMG! I knew I should've shut my mouth but I kept going and going and going about the Gracies. I almost couldn't stop.

MP nods.

Nerddd: And all of that talk about Renzo Gracie not tapping out in spite of breaking his arm. Fuck!

MP nods.

Nerddd: It was all a bit strange to them, I'm sure. They listened attentively enough.

MP: Darling, I don't think they knew what to make of you. You were positively gushing.

Our Nerddd resumes walking.

Nerddd (muttering): Don't blame me. I grew up with two older brothers.

BOXING: A Haiku

'Tis divine to wake
at 5 AM and box at
a gym with no air

Friday, July 25, 2008

I WISH I COULD DANCE

I realize that JabbaWockeeZ are so, like, four months ago, but I've been meaning to post about them for a while. If I could do it all over again, I'd make sure I could dance like this.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

LINKSYS: The Next Generation

Holy jeebus, I haven't blogged since the day before Independence Day! Forgive me, kittens--although, after making all of those promises to return to my daily blogging ways, I've failed each and everyone here terribly and I wouldn't at all be terribly surprised if you started sending me hate mail or signed a petition to have me forcibly removed from Blogger (or something).

That would suck.

This time, however, the promises are real. I've invested in a brand-spanking new wireless router (once again, I'm putting my wireless internet connection in the hands of Linksys, but the dude at Radio Shack told me that the one I bought is way superior to the craptastic Linksys that destroyed my life all those months ago. He swore that this Linksys would try harder at making this partnership work. Like I haven't heard that one before. Maybe I should've bought that one-year warranty for an additional $10, after all. Eff).

So, I'm back (albeit without the warranty).

Yes, again (the guilt of misleading you so many times this year keeps me awake at nights. I promise).

No. This time it's for keeps (again, I promise).

Thursday, July 03, 2008

THE DAY BEFORE INDEPENDENCE

Apologies for not posting earlier today, my darlings. I suspect that most of you are far away from your computers now, en route to your Independence Day weekend destinations of choice. Or, perhaps, the horrific economy's got you staycationing it, in which case, I hope you're at least frolicking outdoors somewhere. Then again, if you're in the greater New York City area, you can't frolick for very much longer before it starts thunderstorming at midnight and continues to rain buckets right into the weekend (I'm done with these thunderstorms we've been having, like, every single weekend. What's with that?). In which case, I suspect there might be more of you than I thought.

Hi.

Anyway, today was a lovely day. The bird observed the day before Independence Day as a holiday and let us stay at home. I slept in until 7:45AM (!), then went out for a nice six mile run. Later, I frolicked with the girls in a suddenly tourist-infested downtown Manhattan. It was still lovely albeit as hot as the bottom of a barbeque pit. We had brunch in Tribeca and then lazed around Chinatown. In a sudden moment of "OMG-I-have-premature-wrinkles-around-my-eyes" I bought yet another pair of $5 sunglasses that will be rejected in a couple of days.

So, now I'm at home.

And America's less than five hours away from turning 232.

I suggest that you invest in sunglasses and lots of sunscreen, lady, because 231 hasn't been kind and, wow, I don't even have to squint to see the wrinkles.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

HOT CANADIANS

Here is a list of The Huffington Post's 10 hottest Canadian men and women. Mrrrow, yes, but they totally left MP off the list. I smell a fix.

ASK THE NERD

I've got nothing for you today, folks (I suspect my brain is already celebrating the Fourth of July, sparklers and all). So, I open the blog to you. Ask me a question, any question. I'll try to answer to the best of my ability.

Sweet jeebus, I hope I get more than one question, or else it'll be elementary school gym class all over again: the Nerddd alone and embarrassed.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

MANADA DAY, EH



Clearly, I had my head up my ass this morning because how else could I have forgotten to wish all of my readers a happy, happy, happy Manada (and by Manada, I mean Canada) Day, eh?! What is Manada Day all aboot, you ask? Well, my curious Americans (and others), you can read all aboot it right here! I haven't read the article just yet but I suspect that on Manada Day, Manadians engage in the very same revelries that we Americans do on the Four of July: they have barbeques and picnics, watch fireworks, blow up their fingers and their faces with firecrakcers and those sparklers I loved as a kid. They might also gorge themselves on alcohol and then hop into their jeeps.

Oh, patriotism, you loud, boisterous chum, we can always turn to you for a good time...even in Manada!

To all of my dear Manadians (there are certainly more of you this year than there were last year), I leave you with the gift of Robin Sparkle. Dance, shimmy, and sing your hearts out, you crazy, crazy Canucks, for this day is your day and no one can take that away from you.

MYSTERY DIAGNOSIS

Discovery Health Channel's Mystery Diagnosis is my favorite show for this summer (you'll remember, reader, that Little People, Big World was my favorite show last summer). Surprisingly, the show has yet to become this hypochondriac's worst nightmare. Sure, I sometimes find myself panicking that maybe my psychosomatic hives and other allergies are actually signs of Kawasaki disease or maybe that metallic taste in my mouth is my cerebrospinal fluid leaking or, OH MY GOD I HAVE Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia , but, for the most part I'm able to enjoy the show the same way I was able to enjoy the first season of House (just for the record, even Little People, Big World got the paranoid juices going: "What if I'm, at this very moment, carrying a mutated gene for dwarfism that I'll pass onto my poor, helpless babies??!)