Several years ago, I was rummaging through my brothers’ refrigerator, looking for sustenance besides the bread, milk, and packets of condiments that populated it. Finally conceding that the fridge was stocked with only bachelor fares, I moved to the freezer where, wonder of wonders, I found a carton of Turkey Hill vanilla flavored ice cream. My stomach rumbled a thank you as I scooped some out in a bowl, dreaming of the way that the ethereal and warm vanilla flavor would dance in my mouth. I could not, at that moment, think of any dessert infused with more memories of summers long past and childhood, hope and sunshine, serenity and pleasure.
It was with happiness that I lifted that first spoonful of ice cream to my mouth. The spoon silently slipped past my smiling lips—
AND I NEARLY GAGGED!
The horrifyingly vile taste that permeated through my being that day can be best described in one word: furry. It was, quite possibly, the worst thing I’ve ever tasted in my life; the shockingly awful flavor so overwhelmed my senses that I, in my panic and confusion, took another furry spoonful and, this time, I DID gag on the clearly spoiled ice cream.
I haven't felt the same way about ice cream since. I’ve actually had nightmares in which that sick flavor stodgily sits in my mouth and even after I wake, I usually need to drink water in order to exorcise my taste buds of the memory.
I don’t heart ice cream.
I don’t heart it at all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
well then..i can eat your share :P
Ewww - I thought that everything stayed good in the freezer. I mean, don't they find perfectly preserved Stone-Age men encased in ice all the time? And that's thousands of years, so it seems reasonable to expect ice cream to stay good.
i hope i never get to taste spoiled icecream...i have too much respect for hagen daaz Vanilla icecream.
like the rest of us, maybe your brother has a little jeffery dahmer in him and those were actually frozen human remains you downed.
No, no...everyone know humans taste like chicken.
Post a Comment