A SAPPY LETTER TO MY FRIENDS

I sent the following email to my family and friends during lunch today.

To my friends:

In stark contrast to yesterday, this day is unfolding rather nicely. I woke up as bright as the sun at 6AM, had a terrific Americano from JT (that's Jacques Torres for those of you--ie, everyone BUT ES--who don't know), had a delicious albeit overpriced salad for lunch (with anchovies and portabella mushrooms--fish makes me happier than it should, really) and have been getting lots of work done at work.

The point of this email (which gets more and more lame as I continue to type), however, is neither to share with you a day in the life of the SabilaK and nor is it to illustrate how it doesn't take much to make the SabilaK happy (yes, the article before my name is fully intentional). ES mentioned earlier how her very good friend who is getting hitched soon sent out a sappy email to all of her friends, telling them how much she loves them. This, in turn, inspired me to compose my own sappy email to you guys, my friends (no, I haven't been diagnosed with a fatal illness, I don't need any money, and there are no impending nuptials--at least none that I know of (I wouldn't be surprised if my mother is in the process of getting me hitched to someone in Zimbabwe) in my near future. C'mon people. Be a little less cynical! Jeez!)

I just want to say that I really, really, really appreciate having friends like you. I don't think I say it enough, but you guys rock and make me a better person. I feel sorry for those sad, antisocial types who don't have friends like you; and those disgustingly rich people who have a bevy of "friends" who really aren't friends at all (like Notorious B.I.G. said, "more money, more problems." That IS what he said right? How depressing); oh, and Britney Spears, because where she is right now is a lonely, lonely place.
That must suck. I’m glad I'm not her.

Plus, being my friend means having to put up with annoying and random and sporadic emails from me and yet you do so happily (even if you are deleting them without reading them--which I don't need to know).
Okay, now this is getting way too sappy even for me and probably a little weird for you guys, so I'll stop.
I feel kinda gross now and will so regret this like five minutes from now.
Oh well.

*********************

While I meant every word I said—I actually don’t think I said enough—I also wanted to see how the recipients of this email would react to such an unabashed expression of love and affection.

Here's what those of the recipients who weren't totally baffled by my declaration of affection had to say:

“You have got to be THE biggest loser I know. Oh my GOD!!!” was the first response I received. Luckily, it was from my brother so I could totally laugh it off.

The following exchange resulted between me and a rather cantankerous old friend:
T: If we wanted to read this kind of s@#t, we'd read your blog!
Me: Eff off T.
T: Damn, I forgot to respond to [everyone].
Me: You can't [respond to all], you technologically-challenged buffoon; I bcc'd everyone.
T: I had some Rice Krispies for breakfast, I better tell everyone. Oh and I saw some puppy dogs running in the park and flowers are blooming. I love life...
Me: Screw off loser.

Oh, the love.

Another friend commented that the anchovies-and-portabella-mushroom-salad-induced gas I was experiencing must have traveled to my head while a fourth friend declared, “Um, I want to have for lunch what you’ve been SMOKING!”

I did receive a handful of sweet emails, among them:

“Wow Sabila. Is it that time of the month? Just kidding. That was [a] really nice [email]. And, doesn’t it suck that [people think] there always has to be a reason to say such nice things? I think your email was wonderful…I’m very happy to have you as a friend in my life. You are a unique individual!”

The moral of this story: most people just aren't comfortable talking about feelings.