I'M STILL ON THE MARKET...

...for effin' galoshes.

It's an effin' rainy morning in effin' New York City.
I nearly effin' fell on my effin' face stepping off the effin' train and onto the effin' platform. Can you even effin' imagine what would've happened to my perpetually effin' busted hip had I taken a spill on the effin' station platform during morning rush hour? It wouldn't have been pretty, my friends. I would've probably just gone home.

But at least I had the lovely umbrella that MP gave me on our first date (look closely at the comments section here to see of which umbrella I speak. He also gifted me with the water bottle. Sigh), and almost as soon as I opened it against the world, I felt better. I could take on any Monday morning the city had to hurl at me, rain drenched or not. So, with my soaking bags pressed against me, my steps a little more tentative than usual, I made my way towards coffee, that sweet nectar of Monday mornings everywhere.

I ordered a small, light with skim milk and two Equals*. And as I gripped onto my sweet savior coffee with one hand and tried to open my sweet savior umbrella with the other, all while carrying a backpack and a handbag, I spilled Monday morning nectar on my coat.

And, as much as I love both, I cursed the effin' umbrella and I cursed the effin' coffee (I also cursed the effin' rain, my effin' bags, my effin' no-traction-in-the-effin'-rain-walking-shoes, my effin' lack of effin' galoshes, and effin' Monday mornings) before managing to open the umbrella and walking to work.

Here's to days that aren't effin' Mondays.

*OMG, this woman next to me ordered a medium coffee with skim milk and 7 effin' Splendas!!! That's like 14 teaspoons of effin' sugar!!! I wanted to shake her a little but to each her own, I suppose.

FUCK!