I am on the market for the following things and thought I'd ask my fiercely loyal, ridiculously brilliant, sickeningly talented and blazingly attractive readers to point me in the direction of uniquely terrific products available in the world today:
1) a water bottle for the office with a minimum liquid capacity of 20 oz., ergonomic yet snazzy design. I need a water bottle that screams: "I am the nerd's water bottle and I will make water look refreshing and sexy so that she'll drink the 64 oz of it prescribed (by the government? the surgeon general? God? aliens? Katie Couric? where the monkey did this recommendation come from anyway??) for eternal youth, vigor, and beauty (maybe even intelligence...I'm still working on that)." I'm open to most colors for my water bottles. The water bottle I currently use is old and is becoming increasingly skanky with time so you're immediate attention is much appreciated for what I trust you recognize as an urgent matter.
2) I've been searching for that perfect umbrella for quite some time now. I'm afraid I may be asking for too much, hence my fruitless, exhaustive online searches. I need more than an umbrella. I need a collapsable canopy on a rod that not only protects me from the elements but also announces: "I am the nerd's umbrella, a most perfect reflection of her personlity, wit and joie di vivre that shines through the mundaneness of this bleak day." I'd prefer something that is small enough to fit in my handbag (given the size of my handbag, I suppose that the umbrella can be pretty damned big).
3) Surely I've broken records in my search for galoshes--it's going on a dozen years now, folks. I bemoan the fact that I don't own a pair only when it's raining, promptly forgetting about the galoshes as soon as the rain stops. Most rainy days are met with solemn oaths that I will invest time and effort into shopping for the perfect galoshes (a pair that shouts "I'm cute yet edgy and I keep our nerd from falling down and breaking her limbs during rain storms" will suffice) as I try to decide which pair of shoes I own is least weather inapproriate and most conducive to delivering me to my destination in one piece.
I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for your interest.