Wednesday, September 27, 2006

DEAR LADY (OR LADIES, REALLY) AT WORK: I DON'T HATE YOU, SO DON'T BE AFRAID OF ME

Dear lady (or ladies, really) at work:

Quit staring at me like I'm a freak with two heads, who might steal your husband and/or suicide bomb you at any moment. Just for the record, I have one head like everyone else, I don't know your husband but am sure that I wouldn't be that into him even if I did know him, so no worries there, and I don't believe in explosive devices, death or mayhem; I believe in books. So, the next time I smile at you, try not to give me that panicky oh-my-Jeebus-why-is-that-slutty-ethnic-girl-who-I-bet-wants-to-boink-my-poor-sweet-(insert name of poor sweet hubby here)-and-then-suicide-bomb-all-of-us-staring-at-me look and just smile back. It won't kill you. You might find that it even allays your anxieties. Or you may want to think about medicating yourself.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
The Nerd

6 comments:

passion said...

did u start wearing hijab or something?

mist1 said...

Thanks for clearing that up. I feel better about you already.

Maritza said...

I only started reading your blog because I thought you were a slutty ethnic type!

ajax1979 said...

Its Ramadan! RELAX!!

King Talent said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
King Talent said...

I only started reading your blog because I thought you had two heads ... 'cause to me, that's REAL ethnic! Maybe you should just walk around with something ticking loudly under your blouse, black fishnets and higher-than-high heels and smile like you've never smiled before.