Sunday, September 03, 2006

THE NERD SEES HER FIRST MALE GLAMOUR SHOT




Amma takes a seat next to me on the sofa as I watch television. I can see that she's trying to be very solemn; she has an unmarked envelope in her hand. I quietly sigh in anticipation of what is tucked away in the envelope.

"Doesn't he seem like a very nice boy, Sabila?" she askes, as she pulls out a glossy, 5" X 7" photo from the envelope.

The PLP (prospective life partner) sits on what appears to be a bar stool, set against a purple muslin backdrop; while his body is perpendicular to the camera, his face is turned towards it. He isn't smiling. I'm certain he's attempting to appear serious, well-educated and responsible enough to care for a family all in one shot. He's almost got it...except it seems that the photographer at the studio has snapped the camera a few seconds too soon. The result is a ghost of a grimace, which makes him look a bit constipated.

"Amma. No," I tell her.

"Aww, but doesn't he look like a nice boy?" Amma asks again. I know her well enough to know that she knows that this guy is all wrong for me but I also know her well enough to know that it's virtually impossible for her to say anything negative about anyone or anything. She gives everyone a fair shot. She's awesome.

And so I tell her that I don't think it'll work out with this PLP and she starts naming parental units of eligible bachelorettes to whom she can pass along whoever gave us this dude's pic.

Good luck to him.

Eek: I just now realized that I should've probably met with him for the comedy. Wasn't that the point of all of this? But who am I kidding? My mother would've never believed that I was willing to meet him anyway. Eff.

14 comments:

D.C. Girl said...

haha. damned if you do damned if you don't. LOVE IT!

all will fall into place at the proper time...that's what I tell myself. And it took me a long time to realize that I'm alone because I *want* to be alone right now...just having fun looking.

Especially today at all the Capitol Cops...GOD HAVE MERCY!

Anonymous said...

You mean you forgot to give the guy a pity date and then blog about it to all your friends here? You forgot to pull a fast one a desperate guy for a free meal and to make fun of him behind his back like a preppy high school girl to all her friends? Wow Sabs you really suck at this game... don't forget next time.

SabilaK said...

DC Girl: It's definitely nice to be of a day and age when a girl doesn't have to be married to be complete or whatever.
Hey, I still need to plan this DC trip! Email and tell me when's a good time for you! Wait, this IS Sasha, right? If not, er, sorry.

Anonymous: Ouch. You're right, honestly. I don't know if I can do it. Hence the immediate "no thanks" to my mom. By the looks of the guy, he wasn't one to go out alone with a girl anyway.

justifiably_vertical said...

maybe my computer/internet is just really screwed up, but that picture looks more like a weirdo nebula from an underfunded SciFi film than a guy on a barstool...

mist1 said...

Um...not to sound desparate, but have him call me, okay?

Anonymous said...

:) Wow Sabila, reading thru your blogs here makes one wonder WHAT exactly you are looking for in a husband?? I mean I am the first to say that noone should settle, but it seems that youre turning down your parent's attempts at every step of the way without giving it a try LOL:).. If youre not ready for marriage you should just tell your parents your not and save yourself all the hassle!! NO?? :P

Abstracting Silliness said...

glamour shot and no resume? how rude!

Sasha said...

Yes its me Sasha. haha. and except for next weekend, you are more than welcome to come down any weekend you feel like...

=)

and we'll walk around and stare at the hot capitol cops together...did I mention "GOD HAVE MERCY!!!!!!"

Chris said...

Your ill-fated suitor looks a lot like stuff my wife looks at under a microscope.

King Talent said...

Your mother is right ... nice boys are frequently constipated.

Anonymous said...

Constipated... and translucent... I don't see nothin in that pic

SabilaK said...

So, I didn't want to put up dude's pic. Plus my mother had already returned it to her friend by the time I got around to blogging about it. What you see is a random backdrop. The backdrop in the glamour shot I saw was darker. FYI.

King Talent said...

Oh, I wasn't quite sure ... men frequently are transparent.

SabilaK said...

Yes, my current boyfriend is transparent...or as some folks like to call him, IMAGINARY.
I, for one, am against labeling.