Thursday, August 31, 2006
THE NERD HEARTS HALLOWEEN
I'm a fan of Halloween.
While I'm sure that there were plenty of adults who were getting drunk and/or stoned in costumes back in the day, Halloween felt like the only holiday that was strictly for children when I was growing up. All of the adults I knew had to either accompany children on their trick-or-treating routes or stay behind at home and shell out carefully divided portions of candies to trick-or-treaters. But isn't Christmas the ultimate kid holiday, you ask. Well, remember, I've never celebrated Christmas; before I entered the first grade and realized that skipping Christmas was perfectly acceptable, I came up with the following lame lie when Mrs. Bromerski asked me and my kindergarten classmates, one by one, what we got from Santa: a rose.
Clearly, I set myself up to be picked on very early in my schooling.
Growing up in a city made for the best trick-or-treating. A child hasn't experienced true Halloween gluttony until she's had not one but two apartment buildings with 440 units in each building offering tricks (I've never had a person trick me instead of treat me on Halloween, but adults offering tricks to kids on any day is very shady) and/or treats. So, the BFF and I managed to keep trick-or-treating until we were like 16, at which point most of the people of whom we kindly asked tricks, preferably treats, looked at us suspiciously and asked snarkily, "Aren't you girls too old for this?" while handing us the damned treats anyway. We were so wounded that last year that we decided to never go trick-or-treating again!
In any case, I've been dying to recapture my youth, as well as some free candy, by celebrating Halloween properly.
NO, I DON'T MEAN GETTING DRUNK AND/OR STONED WHILE IN COSTUME!
I mean borrowing someone's kids for the evening. One of the kids must be an infant--young enough so that he/she can neither carry a pumpkin bucket nor eat the candy I collect.
While I'm afraid that, with more and more adults taking Halloween as their holiday, we just won't find too many of them at home to shell out the candy, it' s a chance I'm willing to take.