Thursday, August 31, 2006

THE NERD HEARTS HALLOWEEN



I'm a fan of Halloween.

While I'm sure that there were plenty of adults who were getting drunk and/or stoned in costumes back in the day, Halloween felt like the only holiday that was strictly for children when I was growing up. All of the adults I knew had to either accompany children on their trick-or-treating routes or stay behind at home and shell out carefully divided portions of candies to trick-or-treaters. But isn't Christmas the ultimate kid holiday, you ask. Well, remember, I've never celebrated Christmas; before I entered the first grade and realized that skipping Christmas was perfectly acceptable, I came up with the following lame lie when Mrs. Bromerski asked me and my kindergarten classmates, one by one, what we got from Santa: a rose.

Clearly, I set myself up to be picked on very early in my schooling.

Growing up in a city made for the best trick-or-treating. A child hasn't experienced true Halloween gluttony until she's had not one but two apartment buildings with 440 units in each building offering tricks (I've never had a person trick me instead of treat me on Halloween, but adults offering tricks to kids on any day is very shady) and/or treats. So, the BFF and I managed to keep trick-or-treating until we were like 16, at which point most of the people of whom we kindly asked tricks, preferably treats, looked at us suspiciously and asked snarkily, "Aren't you girls too old for this?" while handing us the damned treats anyway. We were so wounded that last year that we decided to never go trick-or-treating again!

In any case, I've been dying to recapture my youth, as well as some free candy, by celebrating Halloween properly.
NO, I DON'T MEAN GETTING DRUNK AND/OR STONED WHILE IN COSTUME!
I mean borrowing someone's kids for the evening. One of the kids must be an infant--young enough so that he/she can neither carry a pumpkin bucket nor eat the candy I collect.
While I'm afraid that, with more and more adults taking Halloween as their holiday, we just won't find too many of them at home to shell out the candy, it' s a chance I'm willing to take.

11 comments:

passion said...

2 more months.. and u are already psyched.

Chris said...

Exploitation. That's what you're proposing. For shame.

I much prefer Halloween as a jaded, candy-giving adult.
1) Better appreciation of other costumes (without the self-consciousness of your own decorative inadequacies).
2) In a consistently low-child-population neighborhood, we can convince ourselves that there might be more kids this year; so, we have to get this much candy. So, not only do the 12 total kids who show up love you for giving them heaping handfuls of sugar, but you also get a good 2 or 3 weeks worth of candy to eat afterwards. Since you may or may not have intentionally withheld some "just in case" stragglers showed up later at night.

Evolna said...

Too bad we don't celebrate Halloween here in S'pore...We does have other memorable events however:)

Anonymous said...

or just wear a costume that requires wearing a mask... although they do get damn hot and sweaty.. Ahhh the price u pay for free candy i guess ..hehehe

mist1 said...

Halloween is my favorite holiday. We get the chance to get all sexied up and guys take the opportunity to dress like chicks.

Chris said...

...and guys take the opportunity to dress like chicks.

Why does this always seem like a good idea at the time?

Janet said...

I'd be willing to bet money that this is the first "I heart Halloween" post that's been shared yet this season. Don't let time get away from you. Better get cracking on the top five reasons to be thankful for Thanksgiving soon! :)

Maritza said...

Yay for Halloween! One year I dressed up my daughter as a chicken (her choice)!

Anonymous said...

Or hey you can dress up as an adult and goto the local store and BUY the candy for yourself... dirt cheap considering it's Halloween and all... and what you don't eat you can I dunno maybe give to the actual children?

terra shield said...

How nice it would be if we had stuff like that over here... problem is someone might just kidnap all the kids and make them beg in another country or get them pimped as child prostitutes...
shudder

Sajjad said...

I guess since Valentine's Day is now an "official" celebration here in Islamabad, Halloween can't be too far behind.

Trick or treating would be very hard work though. Isloo dwellers seem to make it as hard as possible to get inside their houses, not to mention that every other house turns out to be an office belonging to some company or occupied by people who prefer not to talk to strangers.

Japan OTOH is very much into the event and we enjoyed Halloween a lot there. Plus, it's mainly a grown-up thing there.