Sunday, August 27, 2006

THE NERD NEEDS TO TAKE A CLASS...

...a class called "The Game: How to Decode Man."

I have great male buddies, I have two older brothers and I've always prided myself for being a "one-of-the-guys" kind of girl. But, ultimately, I don't understand you guys, at all.

Your assistance is much appreciated. I don't want questions, just answers. Thanks.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well go ahead and ask... you've got enough desperate guys with crushes on you willing to pour their hearts and minds to you at a moments notice. So go ahead, ask us what you need to know.

SabilaK said...

I don't have questions, just a vague, general statement: I don't get it.

Men leave me scratching my head in confusion. I suck at the (dating) game.

I rock Scrabble, though.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not broken-hearted or anything. Just effin' mystified at the fact that in my 27 years, I haven't cracked the boy code.

Anonymous said...

Well if it's any consolation, some of guys haven't cracked the girl code as of yet either (and we're about the same age). We have no idea what girls like you are interested in/looking for and we're too intimidated by you to ask.

bigkahuna said...

guys are easy to figure out.
1. Feed. A fed guy is a happy guy
2. Sports. Please don't disturb us during the game of choice. As a baseball fan you're SOOOOOO far ahead of the game it ain't funny.
3. Talk to us. We're mostly baffled by the fairer sex. What's the deal with girls and shoes? Handbags? Huh?

throw in loose shoes, comfy blue jeans and a smile from a pretty lady - we're yours forever!

Abstracting Silliness said...

sigh... there are manuals out there, not only for men but for women and babies too... use them!

ajax1979 said...

Sabz: In other words, you want to tip the balance in your favor, thus taking control of the game? Where's the fun in that!! Don't be so greedy.

Hopefully most males have signed "The Game" non-proliferation treaty. Those males that have not, are not really males, but suckers.

Zee said...

rules are boring, spontaneity is fun

mist1 said...

I don't try to understand men. They should try to understand me. Because, I am cuter. And less hairy. And I have the vagina. That's why.

ks said...

Its really not a matter of "figuring out" guys, every guy is different as are girls. This mystery is part of the spice of life. To be quite honest, the only guy you will need to figure out is your husband. Inshallah you will have a lifetime together for that...on a side note...If girls want to attract a particular type of guy or have been having a tough time finding the "right one," it is very easy...just be the type of person you want to attract...(opposites attract is nonsense) meaning, you attract what you are...winners attract winners...

SabilaK said...

Anonymous1: Are we REALLY that complicated?...well, yah, I suppose we are, but whatever yo. See Mist's comment below.

BK:
1)I buy a mean take-out (and am known the tri-state area over for my microwaved veggie burgers!)

2) Me=sports fiend. Remember, I grew up w/ two older brothers.

3) I'm not giving up my shopping habits for anyone.

AS: Can I order the manual of which you speak on amazon? There's even a "man" in manual! If this doesn't help me crack the code, nothing will!

Ajax: Harsh. Oh, sigh.

Zee: Are you who I think you are? Do you live in DC? Have we already established this?

Mist: For real, yours is the smartest bit of advice yet. Seriously.

KS: or as my high school psychology teacher used to say, "Monkeys find monkeys."

mist1 said...

Thank you. Very few people recognize my brilliance.

Zee said...

not dc..we have never met

i like mist1's advice..its powerful!

mist1 said:
"I don't try to understand men. They should try to understand me. Because, I am cuter. And less hairy. And I have the vagina. That's why."

The brown redneck said...

how come desparate guys have crushes on you? i am confused. but again my question to everyone one is...why play a game? right, you got girls who like jerks and a**holes. and guys who like high maintenance, drama-ridden girls who are nothing but demanding and needy. in both you have issues and complexes that need to be addressed by therapy and hypnosis. honesty, truth, openness all equal weakness and being unattractive. is that really the case? u let someone know how you feel, they stop feeling the nostaglia, the chase, the drama of it all. don't we have enough drama in life so as to not look for it in a place where we need stability and comfort and support. a foundation upon which we can be ourselves, continue to grow and keep fostering what it is that makes us unique. change. a word thrown around in lieu of the 'other'. why? screw that. how about acceptance. honest and real. seeing the other for who they are and accepting them. why must we veil ourselves in masks with the one person (well potentially and if we can't be this way from the jump, then what's the point) we should have no mask, with the one person who should know all masks. this is the paradigm we are in. how do we shake this construct, how do we redefine it and make it ours and not worry about the rules of the game. the game of the chase and the chase that leads nowhere but a massive headache followed by a worse heartache. it all sucks. let's hold our ground and be ourselves. and just maybe, maybe we will find someone that compliments us, not completes us. so there it is. there is no book except the one you should throw out. live deep and see what happens.

~assassinated

Bigkahuna said...

Mist1/Nerd:

I guess you hit it on the head - we guys are mostly clueless and can't figure you femine types out. That's what's throwing the nerd. She doesn't realize SHE'S IN CHARGE - nothing to figure out ;-)

I've spent years studying/filming wildlife and recall one trip in Jackson Hole during the elk rut. The older bulls had successfully courted and the teenage bulls were left with this horribly glazed look in their eyes as the flopped around in the snow and bugled earnestly, yet pathetically, trying to garner the sweet attentions of *ANY* female. They had no clue what attracted the females.

Move to the male, bi-pedal city-dweller and you have roughly the same issue. Most guys are running around with a glazed look in thier eyes...

SabilaK said...

Zee: Clearly, I thought you were someone else. My bad. I concur on Mist's advice being brilliant. I'm cuter and less hairy and, dammit, I have a vagina, too. This should be the new female anthem of empowerment. So, understand this!

SabilaK said...

TBR: I concur. But in all fairness, drama is nice in small doses. The cynic in me starts to question and fret about things that are too easy.
"Live deep and see what happens." That's deep and I concur.

SabilaK said...

BK: You study/film wildlife? That's SO cool!
The next time I'm mystified by MAN, I'll make sure to think of the elks with the horribly glazed eyes.
What a clueless lot!

bigkahuna said...

Dear SK:

Eyuppers - I worked for The Discovery Channel for a number of years. Was one of the best gigs I have ever had. I'll have to share my gorilla stories at some point... Yes, I also worked with Steve Irwin (The Croc Hunter). It's no act - the man *is* completely nuts...

Chris said...

I have no answers. But this comic is funny.