Monday, April 27, 2009

A SCALPEL VERY CLOSE TO THE EYE or THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BEING A BAD, BAD BLOGGER

I've been a very bad blogger. I used to blog almost daily until this very blog introduced me to my current fiance and though my relationship with MP hasn't by any means robbed me of my charming nerdiness, it has robbed me of my free time. And now we're planning a wedding and I need a whole seperate post to explain to you how miserably stressful wedding planning and choosing a wedding planner and keeping everyone happy has been (hell, I probably need a whole new and anonymous blog to do that without stepping on toes and hurting feelings, winkwink).

Speaking of parenthetical winkwinks, I will have a scalpel very close to my right eyeball tomorrow. Yes, kittens, your terribly neglectful blogger is going under the knife! Remember that chronic sty/cancer on the lower eyelid of my right eye?

Well, it's still right here with me, folks.

The chronic sty has been on my eyelid for nearly five months now. It's been with me through some very meaningful milestones: my engagement party, MP's move to JC, his 33rd birthday, my 30th birthday party, the year 2009.

Chronic sty has been right here, illegally squatting on my eyelid and making me feel like a freak.

Except it isn't a chronic sty, after all. I went to a third opthamologist a couple of weeks ago (this one is a surgeon--a cosmetic opthamologist--referred to me by the wonderful second opthamologist I saw (as an aside, second opthamologist is the closest thing to a small town doctor in this town and I'm happy to refer anyone who needs an opthamoligst to him. For real)), who declared that the eyelid squatter was no chronic sty. It's actually a chalazion, a lump formed in the eyelid when one of the many oil-secreting glands we have along our lids become blocked with the very oil they secrete. The gland is supposed to rupture, releasing the built up oil but, in my case, it's deep in the eyelid and there appears to be too much skin surrounding it for that to happen.

So, I'm having the squatter removed tomorrow because: 1) while a chalazion might taste delicious if it was an Italian pastry, it's actually just an inflamed, ugly, but luckily small and useless mess at the moment; 2) I'm getting married so, as much as this guy's been a part of all of the milestones this year, I won't miss it at all next year; 3) and I get to sport a patch after the procedure, which is pretty cool.

I'll need to focus on these reasons tomorrow when the doctor injects my eyelid with anesthesia (he admitted that this would hurt like a mofo) and then scoops the shi-zat out.

Gulps and petrified sighs from JC. Wish me luck. Believe it or not, I've missed you g

3 comments:

Terra Shield said...

Oh, good luck!

Trauma Queen said...

hmm..but what caused it?

do you use too much water proof mascara? do you remove eye make-up before going to bed?

SabilaK said...

Nope. According to the cosmetic opthamologist, if you have oil-secreting glands in your eyelids, the glands can become blocked by the very oil that they secrete. Hence, this can happen to anyone.