A FUNNY THING HAPPENED IN RHODE ISLAND

In my current state of reader's exhaustion, I'd like to take a break and put up a new post.
Since I've managed to avoid being mistaken for a boy, stepping in rat, and my mother's "you-must-get-married-before-you-become-old-and-angry" speeches recently, the only funny story I can share with you, dear reader, recounts what happened to my oldest brother this weekend.

So, my brother and some of his friends drove up to Rhode Island for the weekend. He was walking around some Rhode Island town (Sabahat, perhaps you'll jump in here and provide us with the details) with his friend Robert when they happened upon a bar where the Doug Flutie Band was playing. Curious, maybe even a bit excited about seeing the veteran quarterback perform with his band, the guys entered the bar to find a mostly drunk audience of what seemed to be locals. Now, Sabahat and Robert were sharply dressed, taller and broader than the rest and the only minorities in the room. Not before long, Sabahat saw Robert shaking his head at a drunk patron. He couldn't overhear the conversationg but soon, Robert was confusedly posing next to this drunkard as his girlfriend took a picture of them.

The drunk dude walked over to my brother next:

"I know who you are!" he slurred.
"Huh?" Sabahat asked.
"I know you!"
"Ah, I don't think so," Sabahat responded.
"You're (insert name of some football player here--Sabahat, do you remember this dude's name?)!"
"I'm not (random football player name)!"
"Listen, I know you're trying to be anonymous but I recognized you."
"Trust me. I'm not a football player."
"Can I have my photo taken with you. I've already taken one with your friend (insert another football player's name here). Honey. Honey. Come, take a picture of us!"
The girlfriend, appearing to be mortified, took a picture of them.
"Man, thanks for not hitting on my girlfriend," the drunk guy told my brother, slapping him on his back. "Because football players like you, I know you can get any girl you want. But you're a good guy. And a good player."
"Um. Thanks. I guess."
At this point, the camera-toting girlfriend walked up to my brother, obvioulsy embarrassed. "I'm so sorry about my boyfriend. He's had a little too much to drink," she apologized. Sabahat thought that she would apologize for the mistaken identity next, that a sober woman couldn't think that he was a NFL pro.
He realized how wrong he was as she continued.
"Thanks so much for taking a picture with him. It must be so annoying for you guys to be swarmed by fans when you're just trying to take a break. I know this means the world to my boyfriend."
Swarmed by fans? A confused couple, one half of which is drunk, does not in anyway equal "swarming fans," Sabahat thought.
And then he saw the group of people that was surrounding him and Robert, cameras and napkins for autographs in hand. The two of them ended up snapping photos and signing autographs in a daze. They eventually stopped trying to argue the case of mistaken identity and signed their REAL names for adoring fans. One man who was sitting behind them shook my brother's hand saying "I don't know who you are, sir, but I'd like to shake your hand before I leave."
Another man came up to Sabahat insisting "You know my brother."
"No, I don't think so," Sabahat sighed.
"You do. You know my kid brother, (insert random name here)."
"Dude, trust me. I don't know your brother."
"No, no. You do. He's a sportscaster. He interviewed you a couple of years ago."
Sabahat was getting bored. "Listen. I don't know any sportscasters. I don't know what you're talking about."
The man laughed. "Don't worry about it man. You athletes are interviewed all the time. I'm sure it'll come to you soon."
With that, he asked for an autograph and walked away on cloud nine with a napkin bearing "Sabahat K" on it.

I can only imagine the surprise of these adoring fans once they've developed or uploaded their pictures.
Now THAT's gonna be hilarious.