Speaking of MP, he's currently trekking among mountains in South Asia, and I won't see him for another sixteen days. He won't have email access for twelve days. This separation by continents and oceans and weeks and days and countless hours and minutes is way harder than I thought it would be. Whenever I whine to amma about missing him, she tells me I should be ashamed of myself, that no polite girl expresses such feelings for her fiance out loud. I just frown and whine some more, at which point she starts to wonder out loud, "Why would anyone want to hike for twenty-one days, anyway?" to which I respond, "Canadians love the outdoors," and she says, "Ah, and why didn't you go? He asked you to go," and I respond, "Don't you know me at all?"
As much as I love MP, I would never ever be able to hike for more than one day. Hiking/trekking/roughing it in Mother Nature, my dear non-Canadian readers, involves much more than just walking up and down rugged terrain--your Nerddd can easily do that part (ahem. Descending down a mountain might be the one exception I make, however, in this "walking up and down rugged terrain" scenario: there's nothing quite as frightening as sitting on your ass and sliding down a FUCKING MOUNTAIN FACE).
It involves:
1) eating in the wild---mildly problematic for someone who dislikes eating in sidewalk cafes, picnics, and barbecues);
2) relieving oneself in the wild---yes, foregoing that absolutely vomitous outhouse in the Pine Barrens during the Summer of '96 and choosing to pee in the forest was liberating and empowering and made me feel like I was in touch with nature all weekend. I, however, draw the line when it comes to digging a hole for number 2;
3) sleeping in the wild---a sleeping bag is uncomfortable and please refer to number 1)
4) not showering---I prefer showering every day, in the woods or out;
5) the constant danger of wild animals---while I love, love, love animals, it is one of my life's goals to never face down any of the following amazing, awesome, and beautiful creatures of God in the wild: bears, bobcats, black rhinos, venomous snakes, wolves, buffalo, mountain goats, foxes, wild boars, cougars, elephants mosquitos, crocodiles, lions, and many, many more. Nature: that's where they all reside, my friends;
*
6) I have no desire to face down the throngs of cannibals, serial murderers, terrorists, and bandits that I imagine populate dark jungles everywhere (shudder);
*
7) I enjoy hiking towards destinations such as comfortable (luxury or not) hotels where I can have a shower, warm meal, and good night's sleep in a bed. Hiking to just hike some more? What's the point in that?;
*
8) am I really expected to travel without my makeup and hairdryer? Seriously?;
*
9) and what about this lovely engagement ring? What do engaged gentleladies like myself do with their engagement rings before immersing themselves into "nature" for weeks and weeks? I didn't get this ring to leave it at home. But I suppose I don't want it to snag on a branch and fall off into an endless pile of leaves--or wild boar crap--either.
*
You see kittens? A sane American like myself can't be expected to hike for multiple days, right?
*
Right?
*
But it's been six days since MP's left on vacation and as the seconds and the minutes and the hours tick by impossibly slowly and I don't find myself appreciably closer to the 18th, I think about how I might just suck it up next time, after all. Pooping in the woods, while facing down any variety of wild animal and insect, and sliding down the steepest of mountain faces doesn't seem all that bad as long as I'm with MP.
*
Sigh.
*
For fuck's sake, this dude's made me such a fuckin' softie.
*
Ay. Love. Sigh.
11 comments:
See it like this: Absence makes the heart go fonder. And maybe start this nature-thing slowly, by hiking a day a month or so.. and then go from there, to just be there all of a sudden for too that, that'll seem forever and might make you question everything in life. But I am sure such adventure can be a reality check.
I love the "Don't you know me at all?" link: classic Maine!
Oh, but, darling -- have you become one of "those girls" who sits around in her office writing out her married name again and again in the margins of your desk calendar? If so, I will forgive you, but only because I have spent a Valentine's Day (or two) with you exchanging sad pity gifts with each other, so I know you weren't always such a Missus Softee ;)
Don't you know me at all, Rich? I like my name way too much to change it. There will be no name changes or hyphens for this Nerddd, thank you very much. So, nope there hasn't been any married-name-in-margins-writing.
There has, however, been a whole lot of, oooooh-sparkly-ring gazing.
That makes me a Missus Softee, doesn't it? :(
Raniyas: You're onto something here because, honestly, I didn't mind Bear Mountain so much, even in spite of the sliding down the mountain face and fearing for my life combo.
There is one thing that I have always wanted to do: snowshoeing (good thing I found myself a Canadian, eh?). I'm sure that'll get me on a first name basis with the great outdoors, maybe, probably, perhaps.
well ur just engaged now...
who knows - maybe after 5 years of marriage - or whenever the cliched marital bickering begins - you will be happy when he goes hiking ;)
space is good sumtimes no?
I once spent 13 days on the Mekong Delta (on foot). It was my first trek of that duration and was supposed to be 3 weeks. Ten days in I ran out of food (I didn't account for the complete lack of ability to resupply). The natives were so nice they fed me (I literally almost starved to death). They also gave me food for the return trip. That deep in the outback there aren't really any discernable trails.
TQ: That's what I've been told and who knows, maybe it's true. All I know is that I'm counting down the days to his return and have become quite the fitful sleeper.
Men!
Cyberfish, my old friend! Where have you been? How have you been? Your tale of nearly starving and then being saved by the natives of the Mekong Delta is at once unsettling and reassuring. How's Z?
Sabila, I completely forgot to congratulate you one your recent engagement. Please forgive the lapse in etiquette. I've been VERY busy with work mostly. I got bottlenecked briefly and I have some new stuff coming out this spring, so its been hectic. In any case, you are correct about the anecdote, when I think back on it I shudder and smile at the same time (smudder?). Ah, the bygone days of reckless youth. You'll have to forgive me one more time for my ignorance but "Z?".
No worries Fish! December is the busiest month isn't it? I'm so tired from the craziness of the week that I can barely move.
Weren't you on Naseeb? I always thought you were friends with the Zulfikar, the Marine? Have I mentioned that my brain's exhausted?
I havent spoken to Z in a while. He moved to Canada (of all places), to be with his gf.
Post a Comment