My fashion star took a suicidal plunge at about the same time my mother began to fancy herself a designer. And while the hours I spent nearly catatonic in front of the television or with a book, exerting only enough energy to twitch a handful of chips into my mouth or to turn a page, might also have contributed to the death of that star, imagine the unmitigated damage done to my reputation when I waltzed into the birthday parties of other children, wearing the following outfit.
No, your eyes aren't playing a cruel trick on you. I'm wearing exactly what you think I'm wearing: a thick, maroon-colored velvet nightmare of a turtleneck jumpsuit with golden piping writhing on my top half and a wide gold sequined elastic belt thrown in for good measure (my mother loved this outfit so much that she designed another jumpsuit made of black velvet and silver sequins). And, yes, you've guessed correctly! Wrap it around your forehead twice and the belt transforms into a fetching headband.
Fashion is, indeed, without limits.
Plus, I'm not going to lie: when I wasn't moritified at the thought of being the most overdressed kid at someone else's party, I didn't half mind wearing way-too-fancy outfits, which also explains why, as an adult, I'm almost always overdressed.