It's official, folks. This is the effin' longest week of my life, which, yes, I admit is largely my fault (see the annual countdowns to my birthday; yes, I'm a birthday ham and, on most days, proud of it). The thought of going through all of today and all of tomorrow is excruciating. In a perfect world, I could take a 2-day holiday and hibernate until the trills of happy birthday messages on my phone rouse me awake at 12:00AM on March 14th. In an even more perfect world, the laws of time and space would also take a rest, allowing my birthday to last for more than one day. My birthday would be three, four, maybe five days long! All of that cake would get a little ridiculous, but who cares, right? It's my birthday!
Alas, the world is far from perfect. Time marches right on and the 24-hour window during which I will celebrate the day of my birth remains two days away. Clearly, being a self-centered birthday ham is a curse.