I was walking to MP's place this past Saturday morning, minding my own business, when I saw Regina-fun-and-quirky-but-with-oodles-of-sick-range-and-talent-Spektor standing outside The Spotted Pig.
I tried to walk away but I couldn't.
I tried not to jump up and down, but I did. Briefly.
I tried to walk over to her but I couldn't.
I mean, what would I say, without coming across as a crazy, stalker fan. We all know I'm very clearly not a crazy stalker fan, but I'll be the first to admit that I can easily be mistaken for one while under extreme levels of anxiety and stress (oh, and then I break out into hives, adding yet another--and very special--dimension to the crazy stalker persona).
And, so I stood cater-corner to her, watching her surreptitiously over my phone as I pretended to text somebody, "Fidelity" running circles inside my head. She seems nice, I told myself, as I watched her laugh and talking with another girl. She'll be so flattered and humbled if you walk right on over and tell her how much you absolutely love her music. But you don't want to do away with your cool as a cucumber New York City persona so you can throw in a "I walk by celebrities all day and couldn't give a rat's ass about them, because, you know, the city's crawling with them and who wants to bother them as they go about their daily lives but you, apparently, bring out the raving, out-of-town groupie in me. Ahem." And you can talk about going to her show at Town Hall and, wow, how fun was that! You saw Martha Plimpton in the audience, even! Well, you could probably leave the Martha Plimpton part out because who cares, really, right? What you could talk about is hearing Fidelity on Grey's Anatomy, which was such a pleasant surprise and emphasize that you're not a stalker or anything. You're cool. Cool as a cucumber. Walking to your boyfriend's place, like any other day and, bam, there's Regina Spektor! Surprise!
Luckily, Regina Spektor walked inside the restaurant with her friend as I was practicing what was sure to be a terrifying for her and humiliating for me hi-I'm-your-fan experience.