The number of comments I usually receive on my blog have been steadily declining ever since I activated Blogger's comments moderation option. To counteract this, I, for this single post, open the floor--as well as my blog--to all reader-commenters (and honestly, I won't have the time to moderate every single comment that comes in today).
Just fyi, kittens.
Here's the topic,
Interracial/interfaith marriages: is love really enough?
Let's get it on (and I don't mean that in a sexy way at all. Ahem)!
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26 comments:
Well, don't forget, people are getting busy with end of year/holiday stuff. Also just because people aren't commenting, doesn't mean they aren't reading.
As romantic and a fool for love as I am, I'm not sure love in and of itself is ever enough, because mutual interests and goals are also very important, in the long run.
In my own case, different religions were a non-issue, for my husband and me, at least, though as I told you my parents-in-law were initially not keen. He isn't religious, I am somewhat religious (though it's not a mainstream religion), and it's just not a problem for us.
Don't be cranky, Sasha!
bah. sorry. i was in pain. and the Nerddd was ignoring me.
=|
but she and i have exchanged 5,973 e-mails. therefore, all is well again.
Mom, sister-in-law, Rubes, and the Nerddd are my sanity.
=)
oh and .... i have no comment anymore on this love shove shit. there's no such thing as love. there's only the need for companionship and lust, which is packaged in a word given to it by the dictionary called, 'love'.
that's my take on things.
I love how you didnt even last a week without the open forum. You love the attention on this blog and the first time any guy gave you any attention you jumped on him literally.
You are almost as bad as britney spears in your hunger for attention. Almost
Good luck.
For *ANY* marriage: is love really enough?
I have never been hitched, so my thoughts are based upon many assumptions. I will use notions from the business world in forming partnerships that I have gone through:
1. The partnership has to be carefully thought out. Doing stuff quickly in partnerships have additional factors of stress - and that can be tough
2. It needs to be "strategic." Is this partnership worthwhile? Does this partnership move all parties forward to common goals? is this a win-win partnership for all concerned?
3. You look for strong compatibilities. A "real" partnership means you will have to work together and compromise. How does the partner do business? It better be compatible.
4. When stress builds - what kind of partner have you signed on with?
5. Trust your gut. In hiring/signing deals etc - there are very few things I have regretted walking away from - there are plenty of deals I wish I hadn't done and that I should have listened to my gut....
So if the house contends that "love" is enough for a marriage - I will contend in the opposite and state more is needed for long-term success. But it could be a lot of fun....
Sasha said it all !
When your kids have chinky eyes or come out with an afro you will regret it.
lahori kabob...don't be so racist. Mixed babies are beautiful. What do you think we all are? No one on this planet is a 'pure' breed.
Saady- Thank you. Glad to see someone agrees with my jaded attitude.
But to add to what I was saying...
There is a need for companionship because nobody wants to be alone in the long run. That being said, it is also important to pick a partner who brings out the positive side in you and makes you smile and you find yourself getting butterflies in your belly when you think of him/her and when he/she looks at you, you can see in their eyes that they truly do care about you, not just as a human being, but because if you marry this person, one day they will be your family.
=)
I'm jaded, yet hopeful.
And if Sabila and MP have found that in eachother, then I think they are very luck and blessed and shouldn't let anything stop them from moving forth to deepen their love.
Cheers y'all.
And note to K: BITTERSWEET MY ASS!
Wow. I'm so proud of the haters for not going off like they did in the last couple of posts. Or, they're AWOL. But to the haters, if you are going to make a point here, please keep the curse words to a minimum and try to have a logical discussion instead of jahil mudslinging. We will leave that to the presidential candidates.
*zing*
=)
I don't think love is enough either. A couple of my friends are on their way out of interfaith/race marriages. It seems to me (and I could be wrong), that those marriages didnt work because they were either running from who they were, or expected in some way to sacrifice who they are. Ex: A friend of mine was going to wear a sari to the wedding of her husbands sister and he persuaded her not to because it was "too Indian" Both people should appreciate the others heritage and celebrate them. And there needs to be a serious discussion about what each others expectations are, particularly when it comes to religion. You really don't want any surprises there.
I like how Lahori kabob completely omitted "blonde hair", or "roman nose". The pathology is so obvious, and disgusting.
On another note, people who believe that their ethnic "composition" as it is not is its final incarnation. It is supremely arrogant and twice as ignorant. Have a peek or two at Darwin. Organisms are CONSTANTLY having to diversify their genomes in order to ensure their own survival.
i love my diversity! i celebrate it. my grandfather was Mongolian. grandmother is from Afghanistan and my dad's parents are from Uzbekistan.
And for those of you thinking, 'you're from Pakistan, 94% of the people from there are related to Genghis Khan and have Mongol blood in them.'...
NO DARLING...you need to look at my Grandpa's pic...i'm talking pure MONGOL!
I love mixed babies! They're beautiful!
My mother is half Japanese. Her father is 1/4 Blackfoot. My grandma on my father's side is 1/4 Choctaw. There some other junk thrown in there.
Cyberfish. Look how you turned out. 33yo fat douch single loser living in nova.
Hey sippin on some sizzurp-
Chill on the insults. Jerk.
I will say that while no full data exists and people should not argue on stats. One would imagine that mixed relationships and marriages are probably more likely to not work out because of just the generic strain that external pressures put then. Parents, uncles brothers, cousins. Raising kids and their faith and general parenting.
Sabila, not to pry, but have you had that discussion with your dude? Esp since you have thrown out the l-bomb and parents within weeks.
Cyberfish, dont let haters bring you down. I hear you have a good selection of applebees, tgifridays and chilis restaurants in Northern Virginia.
My MP and I are crazy about each other. Luckily, we're also mature, open-minded, and tolerant enough to make our relationship work. Though our cultural backgrounds may be different, our core values are the same and we respect one another. I'm confident that, differences aside, we will make this relationship work.
You should hope we don't ever meet "sippin". I would love to teach you the error of your ways, and of your assumptions.
is that a threat? Dude you are so tough.
dc guy, are you copying me?
*scowls at you*
dc guy: thanks bro. i don't mind haters. hell if someone hates on me i must be doing something right. i live in arlington so there arent many chain restaurants here.
DC Girl. How can you scowl at me? I am a guy and i live in DC. That would make me a DC Guy so i think i have a right to take the name.
are you the one who was offering to meet me in case K flaked out on me?
*raises eyebrow*
interracial, or love aside, its the outlook and values that two people hold that eventually determines whether their relationship will last.
physical love fades in a few days, but emotional connections and the same outlook in life knows no faith or race
find two individuals who have that and you can rest assured that the travels together, though tough and bumpy at times, will be a fun filled adventure
Interracial/interfaith marriages: is love really enough?
My take on this: Not really... it also involves lots of understanding and give and take, etc. But then even people from identical backgrounds need those too as their personalities may be completely different :)
not to dampen the chemistry between you two, but questions such as the ones in the link below have to be asked :)
http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/personal/08/02/o.marriage.questions/index.html
interfaith marriages do work out!
LOVELY chatting with you last night Sabila!
ZEN!
*muah* bella!
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