Sunday, December 16, 2007

PIMPLE PROTEST or THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO ME

I almost never break out.

As a matter of fact, I have pretty amazing skin, if I may say so myself.

I was the only teenager I knew who did not succumb to that pimple pandemic that seems to sweep the frenzy of hormones known as adolescence. I was only peripherally aware of the plight of girls volunteering to pop each other's pimples back in the '90s--a practice, which I later discovered, is more prevalent than I'd ever imagined (gasp!). Today, while other women cake their faces with concealer and foundation, I remain lucky enough to not need excessive amounts of makeup (I don't even own foundation).

Yet, even in spite of the overall wonderfulness of my (radiant...ahem...) skin, I, too, sometimes fall victim to the occasional zit (note, I said I almost never break out). And, trust you me, when that single zit alights on my face, it has its own freakin' spotlight, talent agent, and singing contract. The bitch is loud and angry and is telling me that it's not going anywhere. For instance, the one that is sitting its ass on my left cheek right now, is telling me that we're part of the same place, we're part of the same time, we both share the same blood, we both have the same mind, and that it's stayin', it's stayin', and I, and I, I'm gonna looooove it.

Just for the record, the crazy bitch has yet to convince me to love it. All it's really convinced me, during these handful of times it's found its way to my face is to ignore it, because popping it would be way too messy.

So, like an aerial shot of a penguin, lying flat on its face on an expanse of otherwise pristine Antarctic snow, my pimple's pretty goddamned conspicuous. I tried to conceal it from MP this weekend with with strategic hand-, hair-, scarf-, and giant purse-placements but the attention-whore wanted to get its fifteen minutes in with my boyfriend and it sure did.

He told me it was lovely.
I suspect he was lying.

Let's hope this loud-ass zit goes quiet before I meet MP's family, otherwise I may even stoop to asking him to pop it!
I jest! Of course I'd never ask my boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter to pop my pimple...not just yet, anyway...ahem ahem ahem.

7 comments:

Saady said...

haha !

Sasha said...

after a hot shower, pop it and then put rubbing alcohol on it....it will dry it out.

=)

i had one on the TIP of my nose...and not just a cute small one...we're talking MASSIVE.

I named him Fred. I name them so I can loathe them less.

Good luck.

I leave for my trip tomorrow. I love you and will talk to you in 2008.

To all the lovers and haters who comment on here: Happy Holidays and a very Happy New Year to you all.

Cheers!

francesca said...

Three words: Tea Tree Oil. It will really help. You can get it at that big health food store a couple of blocks up from the office.

SabilaK said...

But I've never popped a pimple in my life! The bastard looks to be shriveling down a bit, so I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed.

SabilaK said...

First MP, then my parents, and now you...Why is everyone leaving me for the holidays. :(

Anonymous said...

You know what I've found that dries out pimples. Toothpaste! If you don't want the blue - Crest kind, try a clear brand. I personally brush my teeth with Tom's gel and it works wonders on the occasional zits too!

Hope your bumpy friend disappears soon! :o)

Anonymous said...

I've been working on an anti-acne line. I'll give you the spot cream when I see you on Friday. Don't worry...it's final formula and I'm making a GLP batch on Thursday. You totally lucked out!

Rachel