Saturday, May 06, 2006
Just when I thought my mom had finally gotten over her obsession with my love life (or lack thereof, frankly. We’re amongst friends, so let’s be honest here), the following conversation took place between us. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Naseeb.com, it’s a networking site, like Friendster, but for Muslims. People join for different reasons. While some are looking for soul mates (blech), others, like myself, are on the market for friends and activity partners. I was initially strong armed into joining by one of my friends who thought I had negative preconceived notions about my Pakistani- and Indian-American peers. So, I joined and I met some great people. My mother found out about the site from my brothers, who I strong armed into joining and, needless to say, she now thinks my husband awaits me somewhere in the cyberworld of Naseeb. Crap.
Mom: So, how are your Naseeb* friends?
Sabila: They’re fine, I guess. I haven’t been online much. It’s been a hectic spring.
Mom: How long have you been on the site now?
Sabila: I joined a little over a year ago. Why?
Mom: I just thought you would’ve found someone by now, Sabila.
Sabila: I made a few friends, if that’s what you mean.
Mom: I was hoping that someone would give you an engagement ring.
Sabila: Jesus, Amma.
Mom: I gave you six months to find a boy on that site—
Sabila: You did what?
Mom:--and when you didn’t find anyone I gave you a little more time, thinking that you were still working on it.
Sabila: I didn’t join that site to—
Mom: And now, more than a year later, we’re back to where you started. Have you thought about what you’re doing wrong?
Sabila (feeling a headache coming on): Amma, I didn’t join that site to find a husband.
Mom: Then why did you join?
Sabila: I wanted Muslim friends. You know that.
Mom: You have enough friends.
Sabila (rubbing temples)
Mom: All of your gay boys. They’re your friends. Why do you need more men as friends? You need someone who will be more than just a friend.
Sabila: Amma! Please. What are we even talking about?
Mom: What you’re doing wrong on Naseeb. You know, you can tell everyone on the site that you’re looking for a husband. It's one of the options. Did you do that?
Sabila: WHY would I do that when I’m NOT looking for a husband?! I’m not that big a loser, amma.
Mom: What did you say you’re looking for?
Sabila: Nothing, I’m not looking for anything! Can we change the subject? This is a pointless conversation.
Mom: You must have said you’re looking for something.
Sabila (suspiciously): Amma, why does it sound like you’ve been on Naseeb?
Mom (giggling not too convincingly): Now, why would I be on that young people site? I have a husband!
Mom: What do you say you’re looking for?
Sabila (shoulders slumping forward, giving up): Friends and activity partners.
Mom (perplexed): Activity partner? What’s an activity partner? You’re looking for a partner for the activity of life!
Sabila (groaning at the sheer ridiculousness of the conversation and the words that have just left amma’s mouth. If there are any words that should be outlawed, those are it): Amma…I’m not looking for a husband on Naseeb.com. Just accept that fact please.
Mom: But, Sabila, if you make it clear on your profile that you are on the market for a husband, he’ll find you!
Sabila (walks out of room).
Nobody tell my mom, but I’m secretly tickled that she’s back to her old ways.