Thursday, October 05, 2006

GIANT

I had just exited a subway station last night--was uptown for film festivities--when I decided to purchase Altoids (fasting all day isn't conducive to fresh breath). With wallet in hand and standing next to a pair of women, I scanned the varieties of Altoids on display, struggling to decide which flavor I wanted.

Suddenly, one of the women said, very casually, "You have something on your wallet."

I couldn't see anything on my wallet so I looked up at her quizzically.

"It's, ah, crawling," she added.

I looked down just in time to see a GIANT moth crawling up towards my hand. It was GIANT. GINORMOUS. The size of a rat or a pack of cards or an Altoids tin!

Naturally, I became all fluttery and "ah-ah-ah"d as I tried to shake the moth off of my wallet without injuring it. The women instructed me to shake my wallet harder and I "oh-my-God"d and shook my wallet harder. But that moth was there to stay. That moth wanted me to know that it was the boss. And I didn't have a problem with it's boss-dom or anything; I was just kindly asking it to take it's bossiness elsewhere. It took me squatting down and tapping the my wallet against a crate outside the newsstand to finally get rid of that moth.

But that's not the kicker, readers. What the woman told me next is the kicker:

"That moth was actually walking on your neck and it looked like it was about to go down your shirt before it flew to your wallet--"

--insert squeak of horror here--

"--and I asked her," pointing to her mostly quiet friend, "if I should tell you."

I squeaked and fluttered in horror for a while longer before paying for the bloody Altoids and hauling ass out of there BUT seriously, what kind of person doesn't tell someone else that A FREAKIN' MOSS IS TAKING A WALK DOWN HER NECK (AND POTENTIALLY DOWN HER SHIRT). Did she think the moth was an accessory? And exactly how long had I been wearing said moth?

I'd rather not think about it. Shudder.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well considering MOSS grows slowly, I don't think you'd have much to worry about it crawling on your neck... but if you are referring to the MOTH in question, well that's different.
PS: That's my round about way of saying you misspelled moth in the last paragraph "A FREAKIN' MOSS..." :)

Craig said...

This is quite possibly my worst nightmare. I'd probably be naked and in front of my high school homeroom class also though.

Scary!

passion said...

yea, I wonder where did it ever come from.
I passed through the aisle of altoids yesterday at Costco and was thinking; why do they have organic altoids.. haha
now, the words, altoids and moth, have been joined.

mist1 said...

You didn't feel it?

Moths are totally in for fall. I want one.

Anonymous said...

By the way, altoids have gelatin in them, Sabila. Don't know if that's an issue or not with you, just thought I'd inform you. I got the heart-attack-of-the-century when I found out I had eaten my last altoid a couple years ago:D.

R. Arlington, Jr. said...

This entry reminds me of V. Woolf's essay "Death of a Moth".

(I miss you, babe.)

SabilaK said...

Anonymous: I'm leaving that typo in. It's a rather charming typo, don't you agree?

SabilaK said...

I'm glad I can create word associations for you Passion. ;)

SabilaK said...

Mist: I'm wearing a giant hissing cockroach on my ring finger today. Clearly, I'm fashion forward.

SabilaK said...

Anonymous II: tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. I choose to pretend like you never said anything. All in the name of fresh breath, of course.

SabilaK said...

Looks like I have to blog about moths more often in order to have two of my most favorite guys leave comments. Sigh, Craig and Rich, sigh.

Kinza said...

and OFCOURSE you're about to tell me that I'M you favorite GIRL. RIGHT??? (pretty please, cherry on top)

Anonymous said...

Hey and how about ME? Anonymous guy!
I've commented on almost every single one of your posts. I don't believe she totally forgot about me :(

MG & AF said...

OMG you could have set a trend...think of all the money you can make. Moths just what is in this season.

Maritza said...

Eeeek! I would have screamed like a girl.

SabilaK said...

But Anonymous guy, I responded to each comment here. I'm guessing you're A1 or A2, right?

SabilaK said...

You know it Kinza!

kinza said...

yay!

Anonymous said...

Look for organic-altoids from Newman's Own. ow available in stores dude