Tuesday, November 07, 2006

MAN SEEKS WIFE

Even when my mom swore off trying to play matchmaker for me, I knew that it was only a matter of time before she'd return to her old ways. As I've said before, it's biologically impossible for Pakistanis of a certain age--this includes aunts, cousins, grandmothers, fathers, uncles, sisters, brothers, dentists, neighbors, friends' and/or neighbors' parents, friends' and/or neighbors' grandparents, extended relatives of friends and/or neighbors, drug store cashiers, bank tellers, great-aunts, cabbies and great-uncles--to leave a single Pakistani man or woman of a certain age, well, single.

So, after weeks of essentially having left me alone, my mother reclaimed her matchmaking role when she, in that subdued and measured voice that she assumes when she's trying to be all serious-like told me about (not one, not two, not three, but...) FOUR (yep, count 'em and weep!) potential matches for me. I didn't let the conversation get very far beyond "Well, your cousin receives a Muslim newspaper at her mosque in [please insert name of any random middle-of-nowhere America city HERE]and families take out ads in the back of the paper looking for rishtas for their children and, well--, although she did manage to speak over my exclamations of "Ugh, AMMMMMAAAA!" and communicate to me that there were four ads taken out by physicians (woohoo! ugh) who happened to fall into my age range (yah, I'm sure that's 27-60) and all of whom were born and raised in the states. Email addresses were supposedly included in the ads. I I'm hoping that the parents have listed their own email addresses and not the addresses of their sons, who I'm pretty sure don't even know that they're being pimped in personal marriage ads.

...and so it goes...

10 comments:

Cocaine said...

I am confused. On one end you point to a desire to be attached on the other you shy away from any such opportunities that your mother presents.
It may not be the ideal way, but at least its a way to meet someone. Some may say that finding the right man is a numbers game, the more options you have the better choice you can make.
What do you think?

ajax1979 said...

I agree with cocaine.

By the way...do your brothers get the same sort of treatment?

terra shield said...

I think she wants to meet that someone not through a personal ad in the paper but more like a sudden encounter while searching for the same book at a bookstore, or someone who holds an umbrella for her when hers goes insane in the middle of the rain or something like that.

And then when she looks in his eyes, they both know.

Have I assumed this correctly?

Anonymous said...

terra: So hypothetically speaking... if her mother were able to set up a chance encounter at a bookstore with these potential partners and/or strategically have the suitors follow her daughter around with an umbrella (undetected) until the moment is right to hold it up for her (after having sabotaged her daughter's umbrella first)... you're saying THEN she might have a better chance to convince her daughter that not every guy in a classified ad is a loser? Hypothetically speaking of course.

terra shield said...

anonymous: I didn't look at it that way... but i suppose yeah, if her mom remained anonymous, working quietly in the background and threw these potential guys her way (on condition that they really are the sweet, romantic kinds) she might regain her believe in love.

It would be nicer though if they were there on their own accord :)

terra shield said...

(hypothetically speaking)

Anonymous said...

I think that this romantic 'storybook' chance meeting is really not the best way to go about things...Lets face it people although it would be great if things would happen like that, we ALL know that things RARELY happen that way. Maybe reading all those romantic novels has given her a false idea of the reality of love :P hehe (I'm just teasing)... But seriously, I understand that being 'setup' may feel a bit pretentious but its not like these romantic chance meetings are so common that you just dont have the time to be setup...Just give them a FAIR shot.... see what happens... Make sense???

Anonymous said...

Personally I blame Disney for all this romantic fairy tale crap.

Crankster said...

You gotta wonder about a doctor who needs to advertise, though.

Anonymous said...

No what you REALLY have to wonder is a Marketing major who advertises.