Monday, January 29, 2007

OPRAH, MY NEW MEASURE OF A MAN

Last night, while discussing with the bff my woefully misguided predilection for men who are just not that into me, I realized that there is one thing that all of these men share (well, other than the not being that into me part of it...ahem...): a deep-seated, relentless hatred of Oprah Winfrey.

Why do these men hate Oprah? I'd hate to venture any guesses, but she is a woman who's climbed out of abject poverty to become THE richest and most powerful person in entertainment...and she's done it on her own...and, to top things off, she's not conventionally beautiful (just for the record, I happen to think she's STUNNING). She's effectively beaten men at their own game by making her own rules and some of them just can't deal with it. For whatever reason, I'm attracted to these very same men. And, for some reason, these men aren't always so into me. So, if men who HATE Oprah are wrong for me, then, following this line of logic, men who LOVE Oprah must be right for me.

Right.

From this moment forward, "What do you think of Oprah Winfrey?" will be (among the) first question(s) I'll ask all potential suitors and a negative response will most definitely result in my serious hesitation to pursue said suitors.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

dudes who like oprah generally also like to suck dick.

Anonymous said...

I also hate oprah, but am not above the occassional cockswizzle

Seni said...

...Oprah.... Winfrey? Now you're just making people up.

Terra Shield said...

Oprah Winfrey is cool, but I'm female...

Anonymous said...

Guys who watch Oprah are unemployed.

Anonymous said...

My question I ask is, "Are you a virgin, because that is important to me?" I am hesitant to ask because I know that will piss them off and most likely they are not a virgin. :( It's sad when they say, "No, sorry I am not."

Dogberry said...

Guys who watch Oprah have been shown (through rigorous statistical process) to have undergone a sex change sometime in the past 1.618033. Truly a golden number for you, I'm sure.