Monday, June 25, 2007

ALLERGIES or MY IMMUNE SYSTEM IS AN ASSHOLE

The universe played a cosmic joke on me when I was diagnosed with allergies to cats, dogs, and horses four years ago. I still blame the allergies on my parents for 1) giving me the defective genes in the first place and 2) preventing any chances I had of training my malfunctioning, asshole immune system to realize that cats, dogs, and horses are NOT THE ENEMY by not giving into my kicking-screaming-I'll-hold-my-breath-until-I-have-a-goddamn-caaaaat!!! tantrums.

While I do have a cat now--the lovely Zanadune--I have to pop and snort medications on a daily basis just to keep her. And, what about my dream to someday have three dogs and four cats (all rescues and special needs, of course)? Sadly, the volume of dander in such a household would likely kill me (or just make me extremely itchy). I'm afraid that short of a miracle cure, it can never be.

What has made me so miserable and crestfallen, you ask? Sarah McLachlan's ad for the ASPCA. It had me sobbing in front of the television today. Not even those Kodak ads from back in the day--you know, the ones that aired during the summer Olympics back in the late '80s and featured "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper--made me cry like I cried today.

2 comments:

Abstracting Silliness said...

maybe get an allergy free cat http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/healthnews.php?newsid=52646 or a sphinx breed?

No Stage Necessary said...

you know - they are making one of those genetically engineered hypoallergenic cats. it's about seven thousand dollars. bastards. if the price ever goes down, i'll let you know.