Dear lady who is obsessed with my moves at the gym:
I hate you.
I don't know who you are but you seem to think that you can synchronize-stretch with me and that's just not cool. You don't even pretend to do your own thing, you freak. Instead, you roll out your yoga mat right next to mine and, staring right at me, you attempt to mimic my stretches and corrective exercises, move by every challening-yet-restorative move. This is just weird and has to stop. I'm happy to answer any questions you might have about my warmup routine but I will not be your synchronized-stretch partner.
Thanks in advance for your cooperation.
ps: If you are mentally handicapped, which on some days I suspect you may be, please accept my sincere apologies for putting you on the spot with this open letter on my blog. If you don't suffer from a mental impairment, you really ought to be ashamed of yourself, jerk, and let me work out in peace. Thanks again for understanding and best of luck with the stretching!