Wednesday, October 10, 2007


I am at my bloody wit's end, trying to figure out a way to rid my stupid-asshole-idiot tights of goddamn static cling! I've recently purchased three (yes, THREE) different static guard sprays, hoping that one of them will be able to deliver on the bloody promises that all three of them boisterously make.

So, do the sprays work? NO! They're liars, all of them liars or else why would my dress still be fuckin' clinging to every single pair of tights I own! And it's too bloody cold outside to go without tights but that's precisely what I have to do because of outrageously false advertising!

What would Heloise do? Or is she an effin' liar, as well, playing with the fashion dreams of girls everywhere?


googliboo said...

I hate static, especially the low voltage jolts I keep getting all winter long as a result of staticy clothing! I used to spray loads of falsely advertised, anti static miracle juice on my clothes too. I don't think it helped much. What did help a little was spraying it on the soles of my shoes. Somehow, that helped just a 'little' bit.

Anonymous said...

It's simple - moisturize your legs (not to say your legs are dry but moisturizers ensure that leg-to-tight friction is minimized). Try it!

BigKahuna said...

Taken from

Winter has arrived with a vengeance and, unfortunately, so has static electricity. It's everywhere- in your hair, your clothing, on the doorknob that you have to turn everyday. Static electricity can be a literal pain. But there are ways to dramatically reduce exposure to this winter annoyance.

For clothing:
Always use dryer sheets or fabric softener when washing all of your laundry. If you don't already use them, this will make a huge difference.

Of course, there are commercial products available for purchase to eliminate static cling, such as Static Guard.

A homemade version that works well for eliminating static cling on clothing is 10 parts water to 1 part fabric softener in a spray bottle. Simply spray on affected clothing.

Apply lotion liberally to your skin, especially when wearing static prone clothing. This will help reduce static cling for awhile, but doesn't last for an entire day.

Rub dryer sheets over the affected clothes and underneath on your skin. Carry dryer sheets with you to do spot treatments if static cling rears its head while you are out. Do not apply new dryer sheets to black or very dark clothing, however. This may cause a noticeable white film. Try a used dryer sheet instead.

Dryer sheets also work wonders when wearing pantyhose. Just rub the dryer sheets over the hose.

Spraying hairspray on static prone clothing also helps eliminate the static problem.

If you are inside and don't have to go out in the cold, sprinkling a little water on the clothing or rubbing clothes with a damp cloth or rag will help with static.

If nothing else is available, simply rub something metal over the clothing. Sometimes this works. I have used metal wire clothing hangers when being stuck in a hotel room, in a hurry, and unable to find anything else.