Dear Linsys Wireless Router:
You're an effin' slacker and I hate you. I should've just coughed up the cash and bought the Apple Airport when I initially bought my G4 two and a half years ago but I was concerned about keeping the purse trings tight after I'd just spent over three grand on the laptop. For the love of Steve Jobs, I work in publishing; I can't go around spending close to $200 on wireless routers! So, yes, I was stuck with you and thought, well, maybe this reasonably priced router will do what it claims to do (that is, wirelessly route me, or whatever--I told you, I work in publishing!).
Alas, you can't even do that, you prig! Do you have any idea how sick and tired I am of disconnecting the ethernet cable-- first from my modem and then from you--and then waiting for a minute before I restart the modem, wait until it's booted, restart your sorry router ass, and then restart the computer. I'm exhausted! You were supposed to have helped me with my connectivity issues but, guess what genius, you've only succeeded in slowing me down. I don't need an effin' tortoise, you effin' tortoise! I demand a hare!
If you act up one more time, God help me, I'm gonna fire your ass and I don't give a rat's ass if it does happen right before the holidays. Give me an excuse to replace you with the Airport...just give me an excuse...
I thought so.