Monday, April 24, 2006

WILL THE NEW JERSEY STATE POET LAUREATE PLEASE STAND UP?

No.
Because the state doesn't have a poet laureate, which is crap, if you ask me.
The position did exist at one time. Gerald (I wish I was familiar with his stuff, but I'm sure he was good) Stern was Jersey's first poet laureate, appointed in 2000. He was followed in 2002 by the controversial Amiri Baraka, who drew strong criticism for his poem "Somebody Blew Up America." The state's governor at the time, Jim McGreevey (yes, THAT Jim McGreevey) called for Baraka to resign, Baraka refused, so the state decided to eliminate the position of poet laureate altogether, which sucks in a major way.
So, now, the state that produced unmatchable talent like Bruce Springstreen, John Bon Jovi, William Carlos Williams, Michael Chang, Whitney Houston, Judy Blume, Ice-T, Bruce Willis, Debbie Harry, Queen Latifah, Frank Sinatra, Nathan Lane, Peter Benchley and Thomas Edison (and possibly the mullet and camel toe) DOESN'T HAVE A POET LAUREATE.
That's just unacceptable.
I say we get it over with and name Walt Whitman our poet laureate in perpetuity.
Now that a large portion of the state's populaton has gotten over its delicate, residual Victorian sensibilities, I don't think Walt's frank treatment of sexuality could offend anyone enough to terminate the position of poet laureate ever again.
I wish people would just listen to me.
Sigh.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

ask queen latifah to compose a pimpin poem on jerzee

SabilaK said...

Zee: I would sooner eat a steak.

Anonymous said...

with ice cream as desert?

Anonymous said...

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