Saturday, July 29, 2006

CABBY: The New Match.com (yikes!)?



Today started with brunch with a couple of friends at Sarabeth's on Central Park South and was followed by a trip to the MET where we checked out two special exhibitions. The first exhibit was the lushly bizarre AngloMania: Tradition and Transgression in British Fashion. The exhibit examines the simultaneous celebration of and rebellion against noble pageantry in British fashion of the last 30 years. We then saw the exhibit of works by a lesser known artist from revolutionary France, Girodet. It was all breathtaking and enjoyable stuff.

After the MET, I hung around the upper east side long enough to work on a nice tan. When plans to meet a friend up there eventually fell through, I ended up hailing a cab to take me back to 34th Street (nice tan and all, I felt like I was on the verge of heat exhaustion).

So, my cabby was on the phone when I got into the cab. I noticed that he was wearing a Muslim prayer cap; not thinking much of it, I quietly took in the cool air. Eventually, he put down his cell phone and I, my core temperature cooled down considerably, tried to strike up polite conversation with the guy (this proved to be a very bad idea, as you will see), who turned out to be very well spoken:

Me: Are you Pakistani?
Cabby: No. I'm Bangladeshi. Are you Pakistani?
Me: Yep. Parents are from Pakistan.
Cabby: I was wondering if you were from the subcontinent.
Me: I am (I was pretty much done with the conversation at this point).
Cabby (sounding apologetic because I suspect he thought I'd overheard him talking to his friend about me): That was my friend I was on the phone with a second ago. He's Pakistan but grew up in London. I was telling him about you, that a passenger who looks just like Salma Hayek just got into my cab!

(Okay, I totally cracked up at this point because 1) I don't think I look a spit like Salma Hayek. I'd be lucky if my right nostril looked like Salma Hayek's and 2) I get that "has anyone ever told you you look like Salma Hayek?" question A LOT, leaving me, my best friends, and my brothers scratching our heads in confusion).

Me: hahahahah!
Cabby: He's a singer!
Me: Hahahahahah!
Cabby: He's Pakistani!
Me: hahahaha!
Cabby: He lives in London!
Me (still giggling to myself): giggle
Cabby: you should talk to him!
Me: Oh, um, what...
Cabby (on the phone): Hey, remember that girl I told you about? Yes! She's still here and, guess what? She's Pakistani! Here, talk to her!
Me: Er, actually...(Cabby turns around and shoves Razor Moto in my hand)
Guy on Phone: Hi.
Me: Oh. Hi.
Guy on Phone: This is Saif.
Me: Oh. Hey.
Guy on Phone: What's your name?
Me: Oh. Sabila.
Guy on Phone: So you live in New York City.
Me: Oh. Um. I live around...in Jersey.
Guy on Phone: So, I'm a singer. I live in London.
Me: Oh. Wow. Great.
Guy on Phone: You should come to my concert. I'm having a concert tomorrow.
Me: Oh. Thanks. But I'm not in the UK. Ha.
Guy on Phone: No, the concert is in Queens. I'm in New York at the moment. You should try to make it tomorrow.
Me: Haha. Oh. Um. I don't think that's going to happen.
Guy on Phone: It's tomorrow. In Queens.
Me: Oh. No. Seriously. I can't make it.
Guy on Phone: Well, I'm in New York until the 6th. We should meet up.
Me: Um. Yah. That would be totally bizarre. It's not going to happen.
Guy on Phone: Oh.
Me: Yah. Sorry.
Guy on Phone: Well, it was nice talking to you...
Me: Great. Ahem. Bye.
Cabby (talking on the phone): Yes, she's great. She's beautiful on the inside and out (please, he was laying it on a bit thick. whatever).
Still on his cell phone, Cabby turns around to look at me as he stops at a red light.
Cabby: Please try to come to the concert tomorrow night. My friend would really like to meet you.
Me: Um, I have plans.
Cabby: Even if you can drop by for a little while. Tell you what! You can bring your parents! It will be nice if my friends can meet you and your family! He's a very great guy. He's handsome.
Cabby pulls up to my stop.
Cabby: Listen, I'll give you my cell phone number. You think about it. And then, please, do us the honor of coming with your family.
Me: Yah, how much is the fare?
Cabby: Here's my number. The concert is in Queens. If you need a ride, just call me and I'll send a car to pick you and your family up. It would be our honor.
Me (taking Cabby's number): Um. Great. Thanks.
Cabby: It'll be a lot of fun.
Me: Sure. How much do I owe you (reading the meter, I see that it's $8.20). I owe you $10.
Cabby: No, no. I can't take your money.
Me (digging through my ginormous bag for my wallet): No, you must.
Cabby: Please. It is unacceptable to take money from a friend. Think of this as a ride from a friend (he says this with his hand on his heart, which makes me feel bad about the fact that I will not, under any circumstances, be attending cabby's friend's shady Queens concert).
Me (unable to find my wallet in my big ass bag and not being able to stay in weirdo matchmaking cab for another second): Okay. Thanks! Khudha Hafiz!
Cabby: Khudha Hafiz!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

What made him assume that you are single?

SabilaK said...

I don't know. I do look youngish.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaha... awwwww poor guy.
And poor you, it must seriously be tough being gorgeous and fighting off all those guys all the time...
having to make excuses after excuses to not see them.

Animal Shelter Worker said...

bwwwhahaha. forgive me for laughing at your akwardness.

That is bizarre/creepy/fascinating.

I would not have known what to do. Probably would have started crying or started talking about my dogs... A lot.

Daniel said...

This is very funny stuff.

What you should’ve done though is to have gone out with the dude and then write about the whole event here! This undoubtedly would’ve been hilarious reading material and don’t forget your parents in all this! :-)

No?

mAn[S]o0r said...

LoL!! That was SO FUNNY!!

You have to give the guy points for being persistent. :D

Anonymous said...

Did you go to the concert?

Kinza

mist1 said...

Free cab fare makes me happy.

zee said...

the depressing fact is that guy is a singer and was performing a concert in queens and still could not get other ladies and had to resort to his cabbie friend to hook him up..that is so lame!

Sasha said...

i got in a cab in NYC once where the cabbie was on the phone with someone talking in Urdu about how he thinks I'm from there but can't tell etc etc etc...

so i let the conversation continue and listened intently as he continued to talk about me.

after he finished i simply said "Aap Pakistan kay hain?"

i think he had a heart attack and mumbled 'uhhhh ji' to me.

we had a pleasant conversation in Urdu.

He didn't charge me on the way out.

=)

nusrat said...

Thats the most hilarious story I've heard in a while.

SabilaK said...

You guys, it was RIDICULOUS. Just for the record, I did NOT attend the concert, although I agree that it would've provided me with great, blog-worthy material. Oh well.

SabilaK said...

Now we have to figure out a stellar excuse for Sabila to NOT attend a wedding on Friday. Again, it'll probably end up being a very amusing event and all, but, seriously, I can think of better things to do on my Friday night...such as reading...