Friday, July 28, 2006
Mommy: The New Match.com?
*Flowers rock. Clearly. Sigh.
So, I'm waiting for a friend at 71 Irving earlier, when I pick up a random section from today's Times that someone's left by my table. It's the Styles section. The front page article that catches my eye: "Spouse Courtesy of Mom the Matchmaker." Check this:
"For some people parental intervention may seem like an arranged marriage. But for today's superattentive parents, involved in almost every aspect of their children's lives, dating is merely one more sphere of influence. Surprisingly, many adult children don't seem to mind."
Americans are coming around to the meddling ways of the 'rents. One woman interviewed says of her mother that, in spite of their difference of opinion on what is handsome, "I kind of trusted her to find me a nice guy. I stopped asking her about looks."
What bothers me about my parents' method of pimping me out (I hate calling it "pimping," but whatever...that's what it essentially is, no?) is that matches are made parent to parent. The kids are just randomly thrown together, without the slightest bit of consideration going into whether or not they're at all compatible. They work on the philosophy of "If we get along, our kids will DEFINITELY get along!" It's almost like they're expanding their social networks at our expense, which isn't cool.
All that being said, I am seriously considering letting my mom put me back on the market, just so I can have some juicily hilarious material for your reading pleasure (I'm so selfless! Gosh! And isn't "juicily" a tremendous adverb?! It's almost as good as "sexily" (shout out to Craig of Puntabulous fame. That's so our FAVORITE adverb, isn't it Craig?)).
ps: I pity the fool who shares the aforementioned Times article with my mom.
pps: While I am slightly nauseated by flowers (and every other piece of sentimental, heart-shaped garbage) on Valentine's Day, I do accept flowers on my birthday, most Tuesdays, Flag Day, Yom Kippur, the Great American Smoke Out (Day), Eid, as well as on other people's birthdays. Thanks.