Dear Persons Whose Ears I've Held Hostage by going on and on about topics of conversation that you might not necessarily be interested in: I'm sorry. I'd like to think that I'm a superior conversationalist (possibly among the top 100 conversationalist in the world even); if this isn't the case, and you've previously found yourself cornered in a room as I've gone on and on and on about my love for American literature, my concerns about animal welfare, my anger at this adminstration and war, my love for baseball, etc., I blush.
Really. I do.
I bring this up because recently, a dear friend mentioned that I love talking about myself and my brother commented that I talk a lot: "Sabila, you don't even pause to take a breath sometimes. It's amazing, really." And, of course, there was that one time over brunch that my mother said, "I REALLY hope you don't talk this much in front of boys" (trust me, I didn't take that one too seriously). Oh, and that time when my family left me, one by one, to watch Two Brothers on my own because I couldn't stop my tearfully bitter diatribe about the cruelty humans inflict on animals.
It should be noted, however, that while I apologize for the pain, boredom, frustration, etc. I may have caused, I'm not going to change anytime soon. So love it or leave it…in which case, I suppose, I’m not apologetic at all!
…okay, I’m officially retracting my apology and changing the title of this post to "Dear Persons Whose Ears I've Held Hostage in the Past: Whatever; it's painfully obvious to me that you have no soul if my conversations leave you uninspired, bored and/or frustrated. And it's not that I'm full of myself or enjoy talking about myself or anything. I simply enjoy making you laugh at my own expense. That's bloody selfless if you ask me. And I'm pretty goddamn entertaining! I offer everyone plenty of opportunity to jump in and tell me a thing or two and I listen (hello! I was nominated a Peer Helper in high school because other students felt like they could talk to me about their teen-angsty problems) but if you don't have anything intersting going on in your life, that's your problem. Clearly, I rock (ahem)."