Wednesday, June 21, 2006

JADE: The Second Chapter of a Zombie Thriller Written by Our Nerd at 10 Years Old

Wow. I have nothing to say except that this story sucks. Just remember that I was 10 when I wrote this, the second chapter of “Jade,” a zombie thriller unlike anything that you’ll ever read (well, for your sake, I hope it’s unlike anything you’ll ever read). Again, I’m including my own parenthetical, present day comments.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Sean Robinson walked into the library. He sat in his usual spot, at a table towards the back, thinking of what kind of book he wanted to read on that day. Not being able to decide, he walked to a shelf and pulled out the first book his hand fell on. This one had a raggedy cover. He pulled it out, curious, and was surprised by a tap on the shoulder. He turned around to find Mike Edwards. A twinge (good word for a 10 year old to know) of sadness hit him when he saw his best friend’s little brother (gosh. Mike sure does depress the hell out of everyone, which blows pretty badly since he seems to be such a happy go lucky guy, not at all hung up over Nick’s death). If Nick was still alive, he would have been a senior like Sean.

Mike was the spitting image of his brother. Sean knew that he was responsible for Nick’s death and could never get over the guilt (Sean: suicide is an option. Why do I feel like Sean will be the first casualty in this zombie thriller?). He was supposed to be his best friend’s ride home from the dance that night. But Sean was hurt about breaking up with his girlfriend (this is back when these prep college students were actually into girls. The homosexual undertones in this story are ridiculous), so he left early, forgetting all about Nick (what a bastard).

Everyone Nick knew had already left the dance. Nick was left with one choice and that was to hitchhike home (really? Was that really the only option? What would a smart, rich kid be doing hitching home anyway?). A drunk man in a station wagon picked up Nick. His car ended up crashing into a truck. The impact caused Nick to fly out of the car. The drunk man suffered only from a broken foot.

If only Nick didn’t have to hitchhike home that night…(damn straight. It’s ALL your fault, Sean, you murderer!).

Sean was distracted from his thoughts by Michael, who was making strange faces at him (Mike seems obnoxious).

“Earth to Sean?” Mike asked. “Sean, are you all right?”

“Oh yeah,” Sean answered, “just thinking.”

“I knew that,” Mike said with a smart look (what a prick. Nick would’ve probably hated his guts had he been alive). “Hey, that’s a raggedy (raggedy seems to be one of younger SabilaK’s favorite adjectives) old book you have there.”

“This actually sounds interesting. It’s called Jade, the Mystical Power (ahem).”

“This Jade sounds like one hot chick,” Michael said, whistling softly (I repeat: what a prick).

“Shhhhhh,” the librarian warned (bet the librarian is a dude too. Kettleburg University seems to be devoid of females. Interesting... )

“Jade isn’t a girl,” Sean explained as he skimmed through the book. “Jade is a power that was first used by a girl. According to this book, it was a force used in the old days to communicate with the spirit world.”

“Hey, hold it right there,” Mike said, raising his hands in the air. “Is that book spooky? (I want to kick Mike’s ass so badly. What an asshole).

“Well it does talk about the spirit world and all that crap (wow, I was such an eloquent writer back in the day),” Sean pointed out as he ran his hand through his brown hair.

“Well, I don’t want to hear about it right now. Why don’t you call all the guys to the old room on the third floor at midnight and we’ll take turns reading it (and then we’ll make out),” Michael said.

“Hey, that’s a good idea (it always starts with something that sounds like a good idea in zombie thrillers…). And maybe we can sneak some of the girls from Lakewood University in (This doesn’t mean that the guys aren’t gay. I’m guessing the girls from Lakewood are just the requisite big-breasted sluts in low-budget horror flicks). I hope the dean changes his mind about the “no girls in college” rule (well, it IS an all-boy’s prep college after all, Sean; this explains why even the librarian is probably a male),” Sean said sadly.

“Okay. You could call up five or six girls (it’s obvious that Mike’s isn’t happy about having girls over: he’s limiting the number PLUS he’s having Sean make the calls. What part of “guys” didn’t Sean understand? Gosh!) We’ll meet on the third floor at 12 sharp,” Mike said with a wicked smile.

“You’re on,” Sean said.

If only Nick was here, he thought again, watching Mike walk away (clearly Sean was more than a little in love with Nick)…

*End of chapter 2

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