Dear Annoying Gym Guy:
You look like an idiot wearing your khaki shorts, Hawaiian shirts and white socks that barely cling to your calves to the gym of all places. You look like an even bigger idiot when you start bopping your head and playing air guitar on the elliptical machine. When you do this, I don't know what I hate more: you or that poor excuse for a cardio workout machine. Plus, you smell funny, like you don't wash your Hawaiian shirts or (shudder) those khaki shorts. Try to take care of that, please.