Tuesday, August 14, 2007

DEAR MADLIBBIN' PARASAILER: An(other) Open Letter

Dear Madlibbin' Parasailer:

I must confess that I awaited your response with bated breath. Though I may have shocked my devoted readers into a rare silence (actually, a thank you goes out to Cyberfish for leaving a comment and not making me feel like a freak), I am much relieved that you didn't find my pickup line to be bold or presumptuous. That you find me charming is rather marvelous. I blush. Your comments remain delightful; you know how to please a lady's demure sensibilities and for this, I thank you.

I've decided, dear sir, that I shall ask you five questions at a time. Though I have dozens of questions for you, the last thing I'd want is for you to feel overwhelmed. The first five questions follow in no particular order. Remember, how much or how little you reveal about yourself is entirely your choice. I've been told that not everyone is an exhibitionist* like me.

Onto the questions!

1) If you could spend one year of perfect, blissful happiness but afterward would remember nothing of the experience, would you do so? If not, why not?
2) Would you call yourself "emotionally constipated"?
3) My friend ES asks, do you prefer boxers or briefs?
4) Do you LOVE your job? Why or why not?
5) Finally, gasp, I have inlaws?! Or do you mean you have inlaws?! Gasp!

*dear readers, I don't mean to say that I flash my bits in public. That's gross. I simply mean that I enjoy sharing details of my life with complete strangers on a public, online medium, as I'm doing right here, in this post. This, I understand, might not be true of everyone.
Interestingly enough, I've always seemed to attract exhibitionists. People love flashing me. It's extremely curious and disturbing.

32 comments:

DC Girl said...

DUDE! He's SO your soulmate.

I hope he's single...

Richard said...

That first one is from the Book of Questions. See, teachers know that useless kind of stuff...

Alright, MP, bring on the sexy results! I'm hoping an online pas de deux between you and SK will fill the void in my post-The O.C./pre-Gossip Girl universe.

Anonymous said...

1) No. Because happiness stems from experiences and remembering those experiences.
2) No. It's Bi-Polar Disorder*.
3) Briefs. Is your friend GAY?
4) Yes. Because I am living my dream.
5) After reading this question 5 times over, I still have no idea what you're talking about.

* In a hypomanic phase at the moment. MANIA is just around the corner, but I'm ready this time.

Anonymous said...

Oh sabilak, you adorable soul. What will happen when your delight at Madlibbin' PS wonderful sense of prose and literary knowledge unmasks itself to reveal a complete minger??

SabilaK said...

Wait,
Madlibbin' Parasailer, is that really you?

SabilaK said...

Clearly, that isn't MP answering the question! Thanks to whomever that person is but those questions are for MP.

Anonymous said...

Hi. Rachel here...aka guide of a blind Sabila. I have a question for Madlibbin' too. So, Madlibbin', who the hell are ya?

Rachel

Anonymous said...

hello.

MP here ...

Wait. What the fack does MP mean anyways? Google wasn't very helpful in rendering these results.

I would say that I am just as curious about who those questions were directed to as you are about who submitted the answers.

Now I have some questions for you SK:

1) Who are you trying to qualify, and for what purpose?

2) Do you agree with DC girl? I think there's chemistry here.*

3) Have you made the connection yet between who answered those questions and it's relevancy? (Even if it's not MP who responded)

4) If you can answere number 3 silently to yourself, then questions 1 & 2 can be dismissed.

5) If you've made it this far in the survey that suggests to me that your time is just as invaluable as mine - which is OK, but I needed a filler so I could get to number 5 and we match. I like when things match.

* no purpose for this. i like footnotes - they're cute. ACTUALLY it means sparks are flying *****. Ok GAY answer - no offense GAY friend of SABILA, I got nothing but love for you.

Terra Shield said...

I'm intrigued by this. Is something interesting going to happen?

madlibbin' parasailer said...

A few observations before giving you my answers:

A. First off, I really enjoyed the urban dictionnary's definition of "minger." http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=minger

B. I'm happy that NOD alumni, Richard, may get some badly needed post O.C. entertainment out of this exchange. I understand, from my O.C. addicted friends, that this is a void not so easily filled, even after one has passed through the denial stage.

C. You should consider opening up these questions to your entire readership because you have a lot of interesting people commenting on your blog. I'm sure Cyberfish, Terrashield, Rachel and Richard, among others, would also provide interesting, and crush-worthy responses.

1. If you could spend one year of perfect, blissful happiness but afterward would remember nothing of the experience, would you do so? If not, why not?

This is obviously a very philosophical question that probably deserves more thought than an “at first blush” response. However, at first blush, I think this question raises the issue of whether our aspiration to experience happiness should be an end in itself. I’m not sure if a year of pleasent, blissful happiness is more desirable than simply living out a year of one’s current life, which comes with a mismash of varied experiences, including ones which may be happy and ones which may be unhappy. [WARNING - for Cyberfish - platitude alert!] I think part of the deeper satisfaction one can experience in life is our transformation from our experiences, whether it be learning to overcome our emotional constipation or our fear of starting conversations with unsuspecting blog commentators over the internet. In this way, I view this memory-less year a little bit like the wonderful dream we can't remember upon waking up, or that frivolous movie we forget in a moment’s notice – perhaps enjoyable in the moment, but with no lasting and significant impact on who we are and who we will eventually become. I think that to the extent one considers one's life as a series of interconnected episodes, separating an episode of pure bliss outside of the context of your larger life story rids the experience its lasting meaning.

I guess the long and the short of it is that I wouldn’t chose to experience a year of forgetful “pure bliss” in place of an actual year of my life. That being said, I wouldn’t object to tacking an extra year as a nice and blissful sendoff at the end.

2) Would you call yourself "emotionally constipated"?

I’m more of a cynical optimist. This may lead to episodes of emotional constipation, but it all otherwise comes out when I happen to be feeling more of the latter.

3) My friend ES asks, do you prefer boxers or briefs?

Boxer-briefs, actually. Let me know what ES has to say about that.

4) Do you LOVE your job? Why or why not?

I fear my job is not nerdy enough to be loved. But I certainly aspire to LOVE my job as much as you do and I will likely move in that direction in the new year.

5) Finally, gasp, I have inlaws?! Or do you mean you have inlaws?! Gasp!

No gasping required. I was merely posing the same question that you posed to your readership on your rather charmingly exhibitionist posting on June 7 (re: second paragraph).

Lastly, I think your readership is curious what your answers to these questions would be (besides 4 and 5, that is, which I think I think we all can guess). Do tell.

Anonymous said...

Dude who just posted (MP):

If anyone has the patience to read what you just wrote, then I give them a gold star for staying awake that long.

Just a word of advice if you're trying to get this girl's attention:

Stop trying so hard. Being an intellect is great and all, and with all due respect, in just scanning a few lines you wrote, I'll have to say: you are one smart dude. No doubt you're a NERD to the 100th degree.

However, if you're trying spit some game to this girl then I suggest you simplify your approach:

A women will appreciate small subtle gestures and emotional exchanges far more than the short story response you provided. Which buy the way I will shop around to a few director friends of mind and see if we can sell the pilot.

I hope that helps dude. Sounds like you need it. I'll be the first to say that you'll be happier than a pig in shit if you change your approach...but who am I to speak. Your repartee exceeds mine ten fold, but why am I getting all the p*ssy? hehe. joke. NOT. joke. OK maybe a lil side action.

For those who are interested...yes, I am the guy who posted the answers to the Multiple Sclerosis Survey care 7 posts back...one.two.three.for.five.six.seven. oops counting out loud again.

DC Girl: Yes I am single. If things don't work out between SK and I would you like to have coffee sometime? Sabila is a rather a hard nut to crack...

Lastly: SK if you post this reply than you have really big cahoonas. If it means spoiling your chances with the buddy, then you better not; otherwise, I hope you still have a smile on your face by the time you reach these last words dot.dot.dot.

SabilaK said...

MP: Contrary to what anonymous has to say above, I LOVE the short story approach. It's working!

Anonymous said...

LOL. Enjoy making NERD LOVE to each other.

Cyberfish said...

I was obviously right when I mentioned some might be jealous. While anonymous is content to turn this into a pissing match over who gets more action, it seems that he has missed the point. People who claim that there is one all encompassing "game" or method for getting with the ladies, often times have no clue, or tend to stick to women with whom the all encompassing approach works. People use cookie cutters, for example, because they are certain the method and the mold works. The downside is that you get the exact same cookie every time. This makes the cookie less interesting, and certainly less special.
MP: No alert necessary, but thanks for the consideration. Actually I know SK only as an internet voyeur so no considerations beyond basic human decency are required where I am concerned.
SK: Not motivated by any sycophantic need. I simply wanted to clear the road of any silence and awkwardness and call everyone else out. But I was glad to make you feel like less of a weirdo, freak, whatever...

nusrat said...

The long winded answer wasn't necessary. All he needed to say was that he wears boxer briefs. Sabila you need to go rip those boxer briefs off him now.

nusrat said...

He wears boxer briefs. Sabila go rip them off him ...now.

nusrat said...

Oh lord! I finally figured out why my comment wasn't being posted! Since when do you censor what your readers have to say?! Blah.

Anonymous said...

How exactly do we know that MP and the Nerd aren't essentially the same person; the similarities are eerie; it's either that or the two of them are veritable soul mates; my money is on the Nerd trying to pull a fast one on her readers!

SabilaK said...

DC Girl: I'm glad you approve. He is one dreamy commenter, isn't he?

SabilaK said...

Rich: Roselle and I grew up on that bloody book. Whenever we'd have a spare moment (and boy, did we have a lot of those), she'd whip out that book and ask me a deep question.
I'm glad my blog's keeping you entertained. ;)

SabilaK said...

Anonymous who's afraid MP might be a minger: One woman's minger is another woman's David Beckham.

SabilaK said...

"Hi. Rachel here...aka guide of a blind Sabila. I have a question for Madlibbin' too. So, Madlibbin', who the hell are ya?"

Rach, it's so like you to cut to the chase but you've got to enjoy the mystery here!

You're the best seeing eye buddy a girl could ask for! Love you.

SabilaK said...

Anonymous commenter who commented right after Rach: thanks so much for commenting but I truly don't know what you're trying to say. And you misspelled fuck.

SabilaK said...

Terra: This is great stuff, isn't it? Stay tuned! Even I don't know what's going to happen next.

SabilaK said...

Anonymous who thinks I have big cahoonas:

Why would you think that your mean-spirited and totally unfunny comment would bring anything resembling a smile to my face? I don't know what kinds of girls you're getting with your obnoxious attitude but, trust me, intellect, eloquence, and politeness is what decent girls look for in a man.

SabilaK said...

...by the way, what are you talking about here:

For those who are interested...yes, I am the guy who posted the answers to the Multiple Sclerosis Survey care 7 posts back...one.two.three.for.five.six.seven. oops counting out loud again.

SabilaK said...

Cyberfish: Thanks man. I appreciate your voice of reason.

SabilaK said...

Nusrat:

Some of the inappropriate and nasty comments were getting out of hand. Hence the screening process.

SabilaK said...

Boxer-briefs are hot. Blush.

SabilaK said...

Ah, anonymous who thinks I'm pulling a fast one on my readers:

Even I couldn't make this stuff up. Trust me, MP is real. I don't know who or where he is (the latter might be among the five new questions I ask him today), but he is a real reader of this blog, who's been leaving comments for quite some time now.

SabilaK said...

Dear Madlibbin' Parasailer:

Rich thinks I should open these questions to all of my readers as well. He's envisioned (and Rich, darling, I hope you don't mind my sharing your vision with my readers) a Date Our Nerddd blog competition, in which my readers choose the winner who scores a date with me (a date to be chaperoned by a group, which will include Rich, my big brothers, ES, and Rach). I'm afraid that such a stunt might be a bit too much for even me. That being said, I see no problem with anyone who wants to answer the questions, answering the questions.

SabilaK said...

Oh, and I hardly think that my readers are crushing on me--least of all the folks you mentioned.