Dear Friend of the Family, who said hello by way of lamenting for long and torturous minutes about how much weight I've gained since the last time we met (all in the spirit of Ramadan, I'm sure):
I hate you.
I happen to hate you so much that I hope you're reading this blog right now so that you know exactly how much I hate you.
Thanks for opening the portal to suckage on a day that was turning out to be unexceptional but swell.
I'd love to wish a pox on you, lady, but seeing that it's Ramadan and I'm trying very hard to refrain from cuss words and ill will, I'll just pray that someone introduces you to these interesting concepts called "minding your own business" and "minding your manners." They're all the rage. You might want to look into them, maybe take a couple of classes.
In the meantime, I'll focus on healing my body before I can whip it back into shape.
I'm glad we understand each other.