Monday, November 26, 2007

I'M STILL ON THE MARKET...

...for effin' galoshes.

It's an effin' rainy morning in effin' New York City.
I nearly effin' fell on my effin' face stepping off the effin' train and onto the effin' platform. Can you even effin' imagine what would've happened to my perpetually effin' busted hip had I taken a spill on the effin' station platform during morning rush hour? It wouldn't have been pretty, my friends. I would've probably just gone home.

But at least I had the lovely umbrella that MP gave me on our first date (look closely at the comments section here to see of which umbrella I speak. He also gifted me with the water bottle. Sigh), and almost as soon as I opened it against the world, I felt better. I could take on any Monday morning the city had to hurl at me, rain drenched or not. So, with my soaking bags pressed against me, my steps a little more tentative than usual, I made my way towards coffee, that sweet nectar of Monday mornings everywhere.

I ordered a small, light with skim milk and two Equals*. And as I gripped onto my sweet savior coffee with one hand and tried to open my sweet savior umbrella with the other, all while carrying a backpack and a handbag, I spilled Monday morning nectar on my coat.

And, as much as I love both, I cursed the effin' umbrella and I cursed the effin' coffee (I also cursed the effin' rain, my effin' bags, my effin' no-traction-in-the-effin'-rain-walking-shoes, my effin' lack of effin' galoshes, and effin' Monday mornings) before managing to open the umbrella and walking to work.

Here's to days that aren't effin' Mondays.

*OMG, this woman next to me ordered a medium coffee with skim milk and 7 effin' Splendas!!! That's like 14 teaspoons of effin' sugar!!! I wanted to shake her a little but to each her own, I suppose.

FUCK!

5 comments:

Sasha said...

HOLY 'EFFIN SHIT!

I FUCKIN' LOVE YOU!

These posts of yours have me rolling with laughter.

=)

SabilaK said...

Hey, punk ass (from NJ!) who left a nasty comment. REJECTED! Effin' ENJOY.

The Brown Girl said...

OMG! me too!!! sooooo excited about galoshes...

Me: I really really really want a pair of galoshes -- these boot type thingies you wear in the rain
Pa: knowing you, you want them just so you can run through puddles
Me (delighted at just how much my father knows me..) YEP!

once i get a pair.. Im EFFIN running through every EFFIN puddle I EFFIN find!

and by the way -- its F N..as is FN wild.. (my initials! :D)

The Brown Girl said...

by the way... check out my post called latest&greatest inventions: umbrellas with cupholders.

here's what a faithful reader drew for me: http://tinyurl.com/36gybk

i think you'll agree.. you coulda used one this morning!

Saady said...

The entire time I was reading it I just wanted to say that its ok to say FUCK every once in a while...and then i got to the end ! haha...voila !