NIGHTMARES AND MY BF

My nightmare:

We have two hours until the cruise ship departs but my brothers are insisting that I give them more time to play videogames. I stress too much and, really, there's no way the ship's going to leave without us. I stomp my feet and protest a little but finally give in. While waiting for them, I do a mental inventory of everything I've packed away for our seven night cruise and realize with a heavy heart that I haven't packed enough clothes because I've seemingly ballooned to 500 lbs and many of my clothes no longer fit me. I have tons of tent- and table cloth-like parcels of ridiculously patterned fabrics that I'm hoping will cover my girth but I know that these aren't appropriate for the two formal nights on the cruise. Which only means one thing! I must run out to the mall and find something fancy to wear. Suddenly, I find myself lost and wandering in a London supermall (now I don’t know if London even has supermalls but I know instinctively in my dream that I am definitely in London and that I'm lost). In a panic over the very real prospect of a) not finding a dress and b) being late for the cruise, I suddenly have to pee. When I do finallyfind the ladies' room, I become stuck in a toilet stall and nearly break the door as I manage to somehow squeeze out. A plus size girl I know in real life is sitting on a chair by the sink. She says, "I don't know what to tell you. They're gonna have to start making bathrooms for girls our size."

I start to explain to her that I'm not really her size but, luckily, I wake up in my bed, relieved that I'm not going on a cruise and am, instead, spending the day with MP.

My bf:

Later in the day, when I tell MP about my dream, he laughs and says, "Sabila, if you ever find yourself 500 lbs and trapped in a bathroom stall, give me a call. I'll bring the butter and jack you out."

Sigh.